On Friday October the 5th, CCP officials led United Nations inspector Josh Perles into the CCP tunnel in compliance with UN mandated inspections. In a show of good will, Ben Storch invited VSP’s Trevor Martin to come along. Storch was accompanied by world-renowned tunnel explorer Patrick Abdel-Nour and freedom fighter Sam Leslie, known as the “Lion of Tenleytown.” When the group reached the site, Martin started issuing threats of “filming scenes in the tunnel” accompanied by detailed ideas such as “we could have Pablo fall in the creek right here.” The crackers were then stunned when Josh Perles exclaimed that he was a VSP operative.
Seeing that Abdel-Nour had just finished taking several hits of opium-laced hashish from a hookah, and that Storch was paralyzed with shock, Leslie decided that he had to take action. In a demonstration of CCP power, Leslie began to blow up two lighters. One blew up with a cloud of gas that made the lighter spin in to the air. Patrick, in a hashish/opium daze, picked up the other one and screamed, “Ahh…it’s burning.” Sam said, “Yeah that’s because it’s on fire.”
As the group began to leave Storch and Perles began to tussle. Trevor (being like as Sam puts it “the jackal that sneaks upon engaged prey and steals the sweet, sweet meat”) joined in by grabbing at Storch’s backpack. Patrick sat and watched giggling in only that way opium addicts do.
Leslie “Lion of Tenleytown” picked up to big sticks and started to poke Perles in the face. Leslie continued poking as he began screaming, “Feel the punishment of sticks. You are no better than the jackal for you suckle from the jackal’s teats to get the rich milk of Satan.” Perles, being the little whining bitch he is, said “Come on, no sticks, no sticks.” After several more tense minutes of face poking and screaming, Sam laid down his arms exclaiming, “I hope now that my punishment has taught you that the jackal’s milk is not enriching and life sustaining but vile poison”
After Leslie’s words, the fighting stopped, but, as they walked towards Vaness Street, Perles grabbed Storch again. They became locked in battle. Leslie “Lion of Tenleytown,” who was angry that Perles was making him late for Boy Scouts, picked up a thick club-like stick and said, “Hey, Perles, do you want me to smash your fucking head in?” Perles then released his dirty hands from Storch, and the Crazy Crackers and Voodoo Samurais went their separate ways.