Grab hold of something cause here we go, again; it is time for yet another CCP update. We have accomplished so much in the past month; even the magnificent Frank Zappa would have to bow down to us Crazy Crackers. Get ready for a whirlwind of enlightening rambles.
Some Crazy Crackers have expressed interest in making an actual film with a plot. Rather than ridiculing and castrating these deviants, so they might not continue to infect society with their tainted genes, for suggesting such an idea that seems to go against the very mindset of CCP, we have decided to embracethis concept. After days of deliberation, we have come across the topic of the film.
Many of you have probably heard of the new filming company, Voodoo Samurai Productions. Although CCP has an affable relationship with the members of VSP, we happen to DESPISE their mentality on films. VSP makes well-edited and cinematographically pleasing movies with excellent fight scenes, but their plots are filled with profound bullshit. We point to a specific instance in “La Pome” where the well renowned Tbag, playing an oriental samurai hero, says something while looking at a simple berry bush to the effect of: “In spring the tea leaves are green; in fall they are brown; and in winter, they are none.” CCP feels this sort of filming cannot continue without some sort of satire. Therefore, the first plot oriented CCP movie will be a parody of the “serious” movie.
The movie will be about an ex Red Army general trying to enjoy the laid back, capitalistic, burrito-eating society of Washington, D.C. Suddenly, the general’s fun will be interrupted by the invasion of a Turkish intellectual who freely and constantly, without any concern for the mental well being of others, spits out incredibly ludicrous philosophical thoughts. The general will NOT stand for this. He will battle this fiend to the…DEATH. Do not expect this movie to be completed soon for us Crazy Crackers do not feel it wise to dedicate
ourselves solely to one big project, but the film, titled “La Naranja” as a direct joke on the title “La Pome,” will be out in good time.
The move from Alice Deal to Woodrow Wilson has been a GREAT one for CCP. The free flowing atmosphere of lunch is just what us Crazy Crackers needed to finally show our ultimate potential. Without that much supervision outside, CCP has been reaching amazing new heights. Perhaps you have seen our hill jumping, crazy funkadelic dancing, and our revitalization of soccer-rugby. There is also a possibility of the spinning game being reinstated after it was canceled by the administration at Deal. Us Crazy Crackers have also been making small amounts of money by fulfilling peoples’ need to see some “Damn, Crazy Crackers!” Mind you, this does not mean that we have turned into some bling blinging played out playas. We are simply making a little money for the SOLE purposes of Crazy Cracker Productions.
Last Wednesday, the student body had a half-day for the Jewish holiday, Screw School. CCP made sure to take advantage of this grand opportunity by doing some classic filming. Expect two new works, “Queerben’s Tunes Are Interupted” and “Queerben Consumes Bottle of Hot Sauce” to be available soon. Finally, there is the NEW venture of CCP that is still developing. The reprehensible Sam Leslie has come across a tunnel in Glover Archibold Park, located behind the 4000 Theatres on Wisconsin Ave. This has prompted the creation of the CCTC (Crazy Cracker Tunneling Corps). We are currently making an attempt to explore the tunnel without being killed for being the complete fooooools we are.
That is all... for now.
-Queerben Storch, CCP