Prelude To Innovations in Motion

Lorenzo Adams was a real mother fucker. He built his arms with his legs, and then fixed up his legs with a nice polish with those arms of his. He never felt like he needed hands because, as Lorenzo would put it, "If I had needed hands, then god would have given them to me." No one wanted to point out he had no arms, but we did not want to ruin his show. Then, one time, my buddy Asher Raster was with me, and Lorenzo noticed that Asher was looking at his arms, and the fact that at the end of them were stubs. Lorenzo Adams, he pushed his trademark saying: "If I had needed hands, then god would have given them to me." And I pointed out to Lorezno he built his arms, and then Asher laughed and chuckled "Dude, shouldn't you not have any arms either then?"

This broke Lorenzo, I would say, he just ran out, trying to rip the arms off his sides, but he did a good job, so here was this guy running down the street, outside of the show-hall, trying to rip off his arms. He ran three blocks before he went into our mutuals friend's shop. Jones McJeffer's ketchup and mustard condiment bottle salesplace. Jones McJeffer's wanted to make his own brand of ketchup and mustard squeeze bottles after his horrible evening where there was a clot in the squeeze top. The story goes he got ketchup all over his new yellow shirt. He keeps on talking about how this would not be a problem if he was wearing a red shirt. So, he also sells yellow and red shirts along with the squeeze bottles. So, Lorenzo ran in there, and Jones McJeffer's was about to close up show, until he noticed how distraught Lorenzo Adams was. So, Jones McJeffer comforted him, and shortly there after I got there with my friend Asher Raster. Asher Raster apologized, and even complimented Lorenzo Adams built his own damn arms. Never again did anyone mention that Lorenzo Adams did not have arms to start with when he pushed his trademark: "If I had needed hands, then god would have given them to me."