Sumbitch!: Destroy a Word

November 12, 2005

Destroy a Word

It has come to my attention that some people don't think that in the name of the fancy trendy women's fashion company "Juicy Couture" (Jew-see coo-tir) the name is pronounced as it looks. Furthermore, they believe that "cooter" refers neither to the vagina, as it clearly does, nor to the character from Dukes of Hazzard, the only other meaning of Cooter. No, they believe that it is in fact an application of some pretentious French word to describe the pretentious and perversely profitable business of making fancy fashionable clothes. Clearly, in a country such as America, such a word does not belong.

I hearby move to remove the word "couture" from all English dictionaries, for the following reasons:
It is a French word that has not been Americanized, and is thus not easily accessible to the non-traitor American.
It can be thrown into ordinary sentences to make people sound artificially sophisticated.
It is a term this horrible fashion industry enjoys - we should remove it to spite them.
Having a pretentious word feeds back into the pretension of the fashion industry, creating a nearly unstoppable pretension machine that will destroy our culture and turn millions of Americans into metrosexuals.
No article of clothing besides a solid pair of shoes or a jacket should cost more than 30 dollars.

Ok that last one wasn't really part of the argument against the word but it is true nonetheless.

Also how much more fun is it to say "check out that juicy cooter over there" or "those girls are going to get them some juicy cooter" or "how much do you got to pay for juicy cooter around here?" than to say "check out that juicy k-tooor (as dictionary.com says to pronounce it)" and then immediately realize how pretentious it sounded and begin choking, and either vomit, go unconcious, die, or hate yourself with such a passion that you explode?

Much more fun.

Soldiers, are you with me? No? Well then fuck you, I'm going to destroy this word myself.

The English language will be better off either with not even having a word for that crap or having a perjorative word in its place, one with extreme negative connotations, so that people hate the hateful entity that is the fashion business.

Posted by icejew at November 12, 2005 05:42 PM

Comments

Stupid friggin frogs and their "I'm so better than you" attitude. They can't even stop 100 students from destroying their country in riots. Thats pathetic. No wonder they raised their terror alert level after a white flag factory got destoryed, loss of military capablitity. I hate those fuckers.

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Posted by: Lindsay at November 14, 2005 01:20 PM

What are you saying, Dougall?

Posted by: DHI at November 14, 2005 08:15 PM

only similarity i can see is that making fun of any of those 3 groups is a tired act. can still be sort of funny but, eh.

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