Sumbitch!

Jamba Juice

Sopranos tonight reignited my hatred for Jamba Juice and coffee chains. I hate to give away too much about the plot but when after Tony sold the place I was more upset than I can remember having been from a movie or TV show in a very long time. The motherfucker sold out his Jamba Juice and not even for sex - for money. If he had had sex with her, I would be okay with it. But just for money, what a fucking sellout. I wish she had never called back with those Jamba Juice motherfuckers. But the episode was very good in terms of quality, just it was bad what happened. JAMBA JUICE WON! I hope that place gets blown up later on.

There's a fucking Jamba Juice moving into Columbia next year at one of the dining halls. It should be destroyed. But because lots of people take words too harshly, let's be clear on what I'm saying:

I'm not saying I wouldn't be happy if the Jamba Juice were burned to the ground. I am saying I would be happy if the Jamba Juice were burned to the ground.

"It's not a Jamba Juice, Michael. It can't be that hard to break into"

I have hated Jamba Juice for a long time. Here is the first time my hatred came into play

My first weekend in college this girl who's a vapid pseudo-intellectual theatrical person suggested to the people hanging out on our floor that we should go to do something in New York. Well since this in theory is a good idea, and because she was attractive and that was all I knew about her, I was thinking that this was a good idea. So where we ended up going was a motherfucking Jamba Juice in Times Square. I immediately became disillusioned with this girl (100%) Times Square (98%), this college (50%), this city (50%), and this world (50%). That is how much Jamba Juice can influence my feelings towards things. So as relates to the Sopranos, I now respect Tony a whole let less after selling out to Jamba Juice than I did when I thought he wasn't going to sell out. What a fucking bastard.

So this episode has inspired me: I'm gonna burn the motherfuckers down. Misguided as it may be, I wish I would actually do it. Every Jamba Juice, Starbucks, Cosi, even the smaller chains in the same spirit, each and every Ollie's, Greenberry's, Caribou Coffee, up in flames, down in ashes. I really wish it would happen. They say you can't stop market forces. Well if one of the market forces is every one one of these bullshit sanitized yuppie chains gets burned to the ground while other stores don't, then the market will dictate that you should build the stores that you don't have to constantly pay to rebuild.

Oh, they'll get the last laugh. But really it's not just me that loses, it's everything I believe in.