JRussell's BlogNO!!!!

A Public Nic Fit

So for the most part, the beloved, imitated and healthily derived "JRussell accent" was definitely something that just wasn't passing down in ye olde' Richmond, but I wouldn't blame it on Richmond, "the" accent doesn't seem to have much appeal outside of the Wilson Circuit, CD/Game Exhange, and part of the DCSka.com messageboard scenes, so no matter where I had gone chosen to matriculate (If I actually, you know, had a choice) the goofy tone of my voice would be a social lynching, like saying 'Everyhing Sux' is the best Descendents album. I definitely got the "Do you always talk like that?" and the "You sound Scottish." but nothing is worse than that time Sam and I were changing trains at Gallery Place and two drunk middle aged women accused us using fake British accents so that we could score with them, they also didn't believe we were 18 at the time. Of course we hid from them with the same fear we had on that same platform a year before during the whole "topless black man reaching for a pistol while asking What I'm ash-king is do you hold yo girls? at the timid hispanic couple" before the awesome Pietasters/Shakedowns show at your Black Cat.

Fucking accent.

So down here, I made a couple friends. The fellow Mike that Dizard mentioned in his account of a night down in Richmond. Mike's a good fella in my Thursday night lit. class who always wears a Barsuk Records hoodie. He had wanted to skip class to go to a Hot Cross show which was the next week, and I proved him wrong by showing him one of the screen printed flyers for the show, I rule. Cool guy though, part of the Philly R5 Productions scene, fucker saw Refused back in the day. So this Mike fellow got himself a public access show through a series of jackassery plotted against the infamous public acces personality Gorgeous George. In what appears to be the cliched Wayne's World-esque, bunch of youngsters take over the TV studio and interview homeless people type shows, it looks like I'll end up being the voice over intro man, ala childhood hero, Alan Kalter. I'm stoked, I get to talk funny and be on a show that no will ever see, I rule. Also in the crew for this adventure entitled "Wednesday Night Karate Explosion" are Brandon (who loves halluciegens enough to get the chemical make up of something in shrooms tattoo'd to his upper arm) and this fellow "Big Steve" who lives in greater imitation of Jack Black than I, who wants to book Tenacious D on this public access show, he also wants to win tonight's Monday Night Mayo Eating contest at Stuffy's Subs (below the fantastic Edo's Squid). Last night I was laying down some voice overs for a Star Wars rip off intro over at the media library which has a lot of cool shit, lots of vinyl-to-tape records, a couple vinyl-to-mp3 conversions jams, some kick ass scanners, and some crucial microphones and headphones. The Star Wars thing is a reference to the nemesis, Gorgeous George, he apparently referred to this show as a Star Wars convention. Which I don't take as an insult, we are quite a motley crew and we've had the "Greedo didn't shoot first" debate more than twice.
So about Channel 6 Public Access; we've got the Wednesday 9:30 - 10:30 spot I think. The channel features other hit public access shows as:

Who Dat Is? hosted by You Know Who
Video Hits Latino hosted by Demetrio and Shalia!
Busted Inc. hosted by Bryan & Cecil
What Do I Know? hosted by Aisha
The Karl & Maggie Show hosted by Karl & Maggie (Maggie's a cutie)

I'm already plotting my own Travis Morrison-style solo train wreck if I could pull it off. I figure I could fill an hour a week on a scratchy public acces. You know, an intro where I'm sitting on a couch, a good opening monolague, then a prerecorded bit, I could handle a cooking segment, maybe a guest or a phone call (I'm sure we could turn this into Tiger Radio as much has been to the Barnard Radio Station Saturday Nights) maybe a regular bit where I singing Creedence Clearwater Revival songs. Yeah, that'd be real sweet. Ah this brings me back to the days when I was a youngster and my dad was a camera man for 'Politically Correct Cooking' and that time that old hippie protester was a guest and was missing several fingers from when cops were throwing rocks at him or something, but that man stirred with that wooden spoon as best he could with a collective two and a half fingers. I was once credited as "set director" but all I did was play with legos and eat oatmeal cream pies. But I learned the lingo; if a camera was "hot" that meant that was the live shot, I serious thought that the camera was hot and going to burn the camera man or something.

Pubic access show, hoorah!