For some reason I’m never really thinking about the city of Richmond as the city I’m currently in; it always comes out in my mind as the setting of a story I’m telling. Whether I’m riding my bike through cobble stone alleys or cooking up an Uncle Ben’s rice bowl while I listen to my “vicodin mix”, it just never feels like the present, its just a story I’m think of that I’ll probably never tell anyone and regretfully never write down either. I’m living a much simpler life, more routine than ever before and I guess that isn’t bad, never really had any structure before, which is I could never implement a Tom Vladeck-style muscle-group-per-day gym regiment and the subsequent groove of glories I never got: expensive t-shirts and private school girls, but I had a mesh hat before it was cool, hell, my trademark was once that bloodstained trucker hat with the Majority Rule patch, but then my head got too thick for hats or my neck expanded making hats not very flattering to the JRussell cephalic experience, either way, once that shit got trendy I wasn’t wearing the mesh hat, except for my thrasher phase but that’s all about the flip-up bill, which makes me look more like one of those fat retarded overgrown children in a sailor outfit. In another piece of writing I stumbled on the question “Why did I have to grow up?” which to me really skipped the whole “wait, I fucking grew up?” thought process, except for all of those times I skipped class and went to the Burger King on Connecticut Avenue hoping to chill out in the ball pit, which was always closed or there was a homeless person (Dr. Shitstain) sleeping down there in the “kidz area”, so instead of being a kid, I had to settle for eating a crossiant-wich at that table made out of the Batmobile like every jaded adult, but hey, free refills, underwash. (nods head). I was stole a pin from dad’s place that said “I want to grow up, not blow up”, and I guess that’s still pretty true, the pin is long gone through, we’ll I lost in London while high on robotussin so that I sound more glamorous to those who don’t actually know me. Some times I really fear that my honesty rather than glamour is the biggest mistake of these days.
In ‘High Fidelity’, the main character and record store owner Rob goes out with this girl named Charlie during his college years. She’s the stunning rock’n’roll girl who was “different, dramatic, and exotic”, in the book she knows friends of Johnny Rotten, in the movie she makes a pre-Osbournes reference to Ozzy that was supposed show how aware of pop culture she was. Rob says she’s the kind of girl he’s wanted to meet ever since he wanted to meet girls. So they go out and its awesome, he wears a sleeveless Moon Ska Records shirt which is totally awesome and she wears one of his Pretenders shirts after sex, also just totally awesome, but she dumps him for the dreaded Marco (not the cool kind of dread either) and later explains with a sigh that Marco was (pause) more glamorous than Rob. And Marco was glamorous, how could someone named Marco not be glamorous. Its like asking how someone named Rocko couldn’t be an intimidating douchebag. But me, I’m just a JRussell, and them JRussells are a dime a dozen, decidedly not glamorous because to me it seems fake and like cheating people into thinking something you’re not, whether that be a poet or an outlaw or anarchist or businessman. The legacy you leave is the lies you kept up. Assume a virtue and you will become it. I would say that humanity defends or encourages faking it to make it, but that’s the smelly cynic with the messy room talking, this could all easily be the name of the game that I’ll never roll the dice in. I’ve been in stores with the kids can buy glamour instead of records and burritos; some stores were okay I just didn’t see anything I liked, other stores made me feel like a total outcast which I was fine with, another store fills me with rage because they exploit and rape and capitalize things that were once really meant something. Urban Outfitters killed CBGBs.
I’ve never been there but I’ve read stories of Sunday matinees and how everyone fucked Debbie Harry, can I please pay $34 for a CBGBs shirt that looks its been worn by a rocker, look, fake pit stains, now I don’t even have to sweat, Urban will do it for me. Without that place, where could someone buy a fake Atari system or pseudo-DIY Stooges shirt. While I’m glad to see girls in Stooges shirts, its just seems so contrived. A lot of this glamour of the kids seems contrived. Partying for example, especially here in the college seems to be excessively contrived. To me at least, a good party is real organic, whether that means just chilled out in someone’s backyard or basement with some good tunes or it’s a wildly anarchic shower of sweat and stolen beer and youthful spirit soaked in distortion and hoarse voices, its all organic, its not contrived, shit just happened, wonderful surprises. But that’s not what I’m getting here for the most part, which I is why I’m way more comfortable doing my own crusty thing than have my crisp hat tilted sort of to the side like they do on the MTV this month. I have never seen kids, young adults, whatever college douchebags with popped collars are, try so hard to make their party like “the” party. From dressing up to the incredibly hip, apparently hired DJ, to the living light shows, to the fucking cash bar. If I ever had to have a cash bar, it’d be a Johnny Cash bar. Just “their” parties are never fun, they’re a headache, to me. Maybe if I forced a sorority girl to get dangerously intoxicated and took advantage of her then I would see the light and “get” the pecking order here. The “dance floor” is a fucking disaster. If dancing was dancing from any period pre-1990’s, I’d be so down with it, but this has just become an excuse to get girls to kiss, which of course has lost all shock, its just another thing to get a picture of and put it up on your photobucket photo gallery. I’m the kind of the dude who’d down with dancing, whether skanking or circle pit or dead head spin-y dance, or like fucking “Earth Angel” slowdance. I’m no fucking purist, I’m not saying that contemporary dancing is filthy or offensive, the sexual revolution has obviously won, but today’s dancing is like some acid caricature of the grind or whatever. Its so insincere, I hate white people. I hate clubs. They don’t even try to pretend they’re not faking their shit. “WE’LL CREATE THE BEST PARTY YOU’VE EVER PAID TO PRETEND TO ENJOY”. Like I found that you really have to drink (a lot) to enjoy those settings at all. When Will and I went to Lulus during one long night one Labor Day weekend in DC that I never completed writing about, it was the whole college night, 18 + night. It was one of the worst hours I’ve ever spent in a brick building, and I’ve been to some fucking awful brick buildings in my time. Again, the dance floor is a joke, the DJ wasn’t really mixing, he was just playing the Outkast hits, which I’m not complaining about but I know I’d make a much better DJ, rather than this dude who just jerks off to the charts. That night I heard that fucking Kevin Lyttle song so many times it was theme music that I never ever wanted to have. There’s so much of the dance party world I don’t know about though, but I’m not buying in yet. I just want someone to have a party with some soul for fuck’s sake. Is this what makes people drink excessively? To tolerate the rest of the world? To forget that you’re not having, as was mentioned elsewhere in this here blog world. But there’s plenty of things to do instead of drinking to numb one’s self. I’ve found the library to a great resource, like the internet is a wealth of information but I just find myself killing time more and more, and assorted message boards and playing Text Twist. But the library is great, it’s so refreshing, it’s like a really good salad for the mind. I spend a lot of time in thrift stores flipping through their records and t-shirts. I’m currently looking for a good sweater to wear the hell out of, which of course is an emo kid cliché, but I once a had a sweater and it was awesome. It was a tan v-neck that fit fucking great, that had soulful blue slurpee stains, that gave it character and I don’t know where that sweater is. I look through the sweaters, which are currently on prominent display for the whole holiday sweater kick, and, well, I can’t really tell which are the men’s sweaters and which are the women’s sweater, I’m assuming they’re in two sections because it really seems that way, either that or there’s just some incredibly queer sweaters at this thrift store. It would make sense, the place is operated by gay dudes and I think receives a lot of donations from the gay community, which explains all the Barbara Streisand tapes and Original Cast Recording LPs. But I got myself some kick ass dubbed Cure tapes for a quarter apiece, so I’m cool with it. There’s plenty of “Cosby sweaters” but none that can replace my kick ass sweater that I lost, so now I’m just a boy sans sweater. My United Airlines hoodie is falling apart and I just feel emptier. One time I got a button down longsleeve shirt, it was called my “confidence shirt”. The day I got that shirt was a good day. December 19th marks one full year since I bought that confidence shirt with a 35 cent copy of The Clash’s Combat Rock on vinyl as well as AC/DC’s For Those About to Rock and an original, not remastered ‘Kind of Blue’ LP. That was a good night for the JRussell. But now the confidence shirt is no longer glorious, and the boy isn’t confident enough to wear the shirt. Its missing a button and the collar is curved vertically so the neck resembles the wings on a hot rod, which makes the boy look like a popped collar asshole. But contrasting to unstoppable flying collar are several stains, some are most definitely fudge, hot fudge stains, others are most definitely blood stains, reminders of the crazy winter nosebleeds, the hours spent soaking the high school bathrooms, spraying plasma on the mirrors and it just wouldn’t stop. Wear the confidence shirt, bleed all over it. I wore this confidence shirt to a mother’s day dinner I believe at Café Deluxe. It offended my mom that the shirt was stained, I thought the fact that I was wearing a button down shirt instead of a t-shirt of the mayor smoking crack with two hookers would be a good thing. I even told her that this was most tastefully stained shirt, I thought she’d be upset if I told her the shirt was blood-stained, so it was just fudge stained until I ordered ribs, when it became rib stained.
Here I am rambling about stains, how could I allege to not being glamorous. Black Flag wrote ‘TV Party’ as a joke, but its becoming more of a reality than it should. I’m not making an effort live like a song, but its getting too close, which is why ‘Damaged’ is such a great album, talk about sincere, that shit keeps me in line. What was Black Flag doing instead of passing out on the couch (tonight!)? Fuck it, they were on tour. I really long to go on tour, DIY punk rock ups and downs, what a community. I would have wanted to be one of the hard Flag roadies like Mugger, freak out the crowd with opening act, The Nig Heist, get chased out of the club by greaseball owner or beat up simpleton skinheads, oh man. At least they’ve got something to write about. I have friends in Richmond who did a two-week Southern tour, they got banned from the city of Chattanooga; those boys know how to have a good time, I’ve got to hit the road with them. I don’t know, I guess all those good times are part of living in the moment, and its hard to live in the moment when you’re thinking of everything as a story to tell, the letter you’re going to write instead of the thing you’re doing.
I’ll be in DC soon, that’s the place to “turn it all in for late nights and impossible dreams”.
Someone save my html.
If yr missing whole lines because of the super big text, go to the archived entry which shouldn't be all biggedity.
Posted by: JRuss at December 18, 2004 03:03 AMthe whole point of that thing in high fidelity is that the bitch charlie is a shallow cunt. let them have their glamo(u)r.
also whatever the remastered Kind of Blue is fantastic. i met the fucker who runs Columbia/Legacy the other night: those fellas do their jobs right.
also you don't know how many times that kevin lyttle song has made me want to end my life.
Posted by: farbs at December 18, 2004 02:45 PMwhat's on the vicodin mix? what the hell is a fake atari? and the cure are pretty big in the gay community, i think. and a lot of the hipsters at my school wear cosby sweaters.
Posted by: dfasdasffasdasdf at December 18, 2004 03:02 PM1) Vicodin mix artists in alphabetical order:
Augustus Pablo, Black Dice, Bob Dylan, Burning Spear, The Clash, CCR, Dead Meadow, Devendra Banhart, D-Plan 'Close to me Cover', Edith Piaf, Fucking Champs, Fugazi, King Tubby, Light the Fuse and Run, Lungfish, M83, Madvillain, Mouse on Mars, My Bloody Valentine, New Order, Nick Drake, Observer All Stars, Q and Not U, The Rapture, Roots Radics Band, Scientist, The Slackers, Slowdice, Sly & the Revolutionaries, Sonic Youth, Yesterdays New Quintet.
2) The fake Atari thing is a small box with the classic atari stick that has A/V plugs and you can play the 4 atari games that programmed in to the system. Basically a fucker could pretend they have an atari, because its hip to have an old game systems.
3) I don't want want a Cosby sweater. I saw a Wesleyan protest online, kids duct taping their mouths shut and demanding their rights. What a bunch of weird fuckers. Why weren't you protesting.
Farbs, yeah Charlie's a bitch, I'll take record store over glamourous bitch.
Posted by: JRuss at December 18, 2004 04:48 PMI have the remastered Kind of Blue on CD and a couple other Columbia remasters LPs (180 gram vinyl) which are great, but I just want to pretend like I'm a pressing nerd and know what I'm taking about. The remastered LPs are expensive, but I copped remastered Round Bout Midnight and Sketches of Spain for free from the store.
Posted by: JRuss at December 18, 2004 04:50 PMi don't know nothing bout that vinyl pressing shiz neither...the liners in the kind of blue reissue say they fixed it up real nice and it sounds good to me so i just do what i'm told.
Posted by: farbs at December 18, 2004 05:10 PMi wasnt protesting because most of the things they were protesting about were retarded.
that atari thing sounds kindof cool. furthermore, i dotn see how owning an atari would contribute to cred. it's not like you take em to shows or something
Posted by: dfssdaf at December 18, 2004 05:54 PMI don't get the shit about Atari and stained. The only reason Atari would be cool is because you had it back in the early days, which is clearly not the case if you buy it now. The only reason a stained shirt would be cool is if the stains were obtained in some glorious way. These fuckers are confusing cause and effect. It is only the cause that even implies cool. The effect is not cool by itself, and if they actually think they are fooling anyone, that is even more pathetic. Plus, don't it cost money? MONEY?
Once I went into that Urban Outfitters store because I was at debate camp at Michigan and there was nothing else to do. I saw a pair of jeans that cost 85 dollars. That was ridiculous.
Posted by: DHI at December 18, 2004 07:23 PMThe Atari systems sold as "authentic" as the Ramones shirts.
Posted by: JRuss at December 18, 2004 10:19 PMi think the t-shirt situation may be different than the atari thing. it is totally lame that urban outfitters sells CBGB's shirts, because it used to be that a CBGB's shirt signified that the wearer had done something cool, namely, go to CBGB. now it only signifies that the wearer is an asshole who shops at urban outfitters, and the association between those assholes and CBGB has made it hard to think of the club itself as cool. (also, was CBGB's actually cool after like 1980? it seems like it did not last very long as an institution.)
but the atari thing is not quite the same: it is cool if you had an original atari way back in the day, but also, it is just cool to play atari games. some of those games are sweet. so i think it hinges on the cost of the newfangled atari. if it costs more than 20 or 30 bucks then buying it is probably not worth it, unless you are some huge atari fetishist, in which case you should go ebay and buy a real old-school atari. but if they're cheap, i find it hard to object to old-school video games.
Posted by: farbs at December 19, 2004 04:01 PMI don't know how I really feel about the atari thing. Like I don't care when my friends download emulators and play old games, but I do get pissed off when kids come in to CD/Game Exchange and buy Atari games for the sake of having a collection of Atari games sans system.
Posted by: JRuss at December 19, 2004 04:23 PMWhat is CBGB?
Posted by: DHI at December 19, 2004 06:34 PMI've tried for years to get my old Lynx system repaired with no luck. Blue Lightning, the coolest air-fighting game I've ever played, was on that thing. I'd be more OK with the bullshit arari fetishism if places like Urban Outfitters would service the things. But that would defeat the point, wouldn't it? Can't be glamorous and have substance at the same time.
Saul, just cause most of the issues were stupid (little argument there, beyond my annoyance with Bennet's plan to make Wes more presentable) doesn't mean theprotest wasn't worth attending. An event like that serves an end in and of itself. And really, along with smoking lots of thai-sticks and breaking into the ROTC, isn't occupying administration buildings a core part of attending college for anyone raised on The Big Lebowski?
Posted by: egosumebrius at December 19, 2004 07:21 PMyeah man, i can't defend buying games for a console you don't have just to have old vintage shit. that is seriously retarded.
Posted by: farbs at December 19, 2004 08:24 PMone time a got a free apple II so i bought some games for it on ebay because i thought it'd be cool, but they were pretty lame. anyone know of anything cool to do with an apple II? dco?
and nick [i didnt really realize that was you till just now, what's up], i was really turned off of the protest by this mass email i saw that basically asserted that wesleyan is hate crime central. if you're gonna complain about shit, be reasonable. but yeah, i agree that bennett has done some stupid stuff. i probably don't hate him with the passion that most people do, though.
Posted by: dadfs at December 20, 2004 07:01 PMapple IIs are alright. asa lopatin used to have one of those in like 1st grade, making him king shit automatically, i was jealous as hell.. then i saw his older brother drink a cup of his own piss and i figured it was a reasonable trade-off. i seem to remember some game played at janney on an apple II with a rotating man--- a primitive version of oregon trail like the one TVladeck used to have? math blaster? NUMBER MUNCHERS???? i dig the black and white screen, it is a fantastic change of pace- everything designed explicitly in greyscale, real old school shit, and nobody is going crazy over apple IIs yet, but I've been watching the state and i realize it won't be very long before the early 90's become hip again. YEEEEOEAH IIIAM YYEEEAAAAHH I'M STILL ALIVE.
the whole "vintage" video game thing is irritating to me because it cuts down on the market, people have a reason to hold on to their back to the future NES games "sans system" instead of trade em in to the CD game exchange, which sucks for people that are actually trying to play those games.
discoe CBGB is a punk rock club in manhattan that got famous because the ramones used to play shows there. they do still put on the occasional good show though. chuck d and fuckin mikey dread played last friday, it was some joe strummer book release. i would have gone but there was that slackers show. and if 85 dollar jeans seem ridiculous to you, get ready for next fall. i still got to get my hair cut at camillos-- i have yet to find a reasonable [under like 60 fucking dollars] local alternative for a haircut. not that i've looked that hard.
bottom line though, i would have no qualms buying that atari A/V thing. I wish they made something like that for NES or NEO/GEO or TURBOGRAFIX 16 so we could play the games without having to worry about blowing in the fucking cartridge every fucking time... of course that has its appeals too. BLOW!
Posted by: sw at December 21, 2004 02:29 AMalso i have a functional lynx (!)
Posted by: sw at December 21, 2004 02:29 AMHi Saul. I thought the worst email was the one that simultaneously claimed that the administration was "spying on our listservs" and that they were making no effort to understand our complaints. There's a lot of stupid shit being said, and I think the bottom line is that the administration isn't at all worthy of our hate but that they need to provide us with more information and allow us say in important decisions.
I'm jealous, sw.
Posted by: egosumebrius at December 22, 2004 02:15 PMBut blowing into an NES is as much a part of the system as the Super Mario/Duck Hunt split.
More blow!
Posted by: JRuss at December 22, 2004 02:35 PMtrue: if they started producing classic nintendo again, but with cartridge's that could not be blown into, you would be disappointed upon purchasing said gaming console.
Posted by: farbs at December 22, 2004 04:50 PMindeed
Posted by: dizardo at December 23, 2004 01:09 AMi have a Lynx, his name is bojo.
Posted by: dizardo at December 23, 2004 01:11 AMhe functions as well.
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