November 24, 2003
November 19, 2003
Long time Indeed
How much better would life be if I had a fake ID?
Word has gotten around our Wilson community about a safe connection to getting an ID card made from a machine that was a allegedly stolen from the Maryland Dept. of Transportation. The first reaction was "Awesome, the real thing, how'd they do that?", the replier of the stoner-cum-entrepenaur was a quick "Hundred bucks, but it's really worth it". Hundred dollars is a fair amount for a minimum wage six hours a week fucker like myself, but the holidays are approaching. But damnit, this was going to be the year I actually saved some of that cash, ya' know, to piss away on colllege textbooks and Lee dungarees, because I have enough T-shirts and CDs are essentially free now, what else is there is necessarily to 21st digital boys. Well I pissed away most of my WAY Too Cool to Smoke checks at Steak'n'egg, I can't realy think where else that money went, and that was a shitload of money I got for really doing nothing. What did I do for a couple two hundred dollar checks junior year? I spent a couple hours one afternoon, once a week eating a burrito or tolerating a shitty subway sub with a christian emo guy whose friends with Q and Not U and the Carlsoincs, an incredibly dumb white trash girl who lives in imitation of Julia Stiles (junglefever), several friendly stoners, a girl with an impressive swimmer's toned body, and a skinny victim of veganism and art. The theme was anti-cigarette companies, not anti-smokers, they are the victims, they are our friends, we need them to accept of fliers, and if they accept the brochure they can get a sticker that says 'Kickin' Butts'. The organization got their money through the Department of Health's distribution of funds they received when sued Tobacco companies paid out. I got paid to eat burritos and hang out with stoners and hipsters and white trash girl who is a fucking moron. I think I recieved about 700 dollars throughout junior year with that endeavor, but none of it's saved, there's not much to show for it. I'm pretty sure I pissed it away at your Osman & Joe's Steak'n'egg. I really don't know what I spent it on. I guess I bought two copies of the Majority Rule/Pageninetynine split and I bought a Bad Brains hoodie and that book about American hardcore, but where did seven hundred dollars go? I could have thrown a party and gotten some dome because it's a social rule that whoever throws a party gets sexed, right? The world does have some sense of justice? Oh, damn. Fucking world. I saw the shakedowns a couple times, I guess I went to a bunch of shows in the month of May, had a big meal at Lebanese Taverna for the so called prom, but damnit, where did my money go? I could have made an investment in a large quantity of drugs or penis enlargement, downpayment on a scooter, shit I bet I could have bought a small foreign human for a couple hundred bucks. Yeah man, a couple hundred bucks could have been an investment in leather jacket, and my dad always tells me that if your clothing is made of nice material girls will come up and feel the jacket and then we'd start talking and I could be a hero if you know what I mean. He says the same thing about changing tires, he encourages me to change his tires because one day I might get blown for changing a chick's tires. Getting lost, blurry, stopped caring? You just wait, I might make it all fucking relate, just maybe.
So this fake ID that I'm in the position to get, could be an investment. Like I don't really care much needing a fake ID to buy liquor, it's not a real problem for me. I'd rather pay a hundred dollars for a piece of fucking plastic, so that I get in to bars, nightclubs, 21 + shows, chill out all night at jazz clubs, oh yeah can't forget strip clubs. Is getting in to said establishments 3 years before I'm allowed to really worth one hundred dollars? The Deli G. made the point that I could easily make that hundred dollars back providing a good and service to the liquor horny losers that really need it. I also started thinking that a fake ID, is not only an investment in coolness but also a possible investment in poon; I could get a head start on being a loser who goes to bars to pick up chicks, then stumbles home unfruitful, passes out near a couch, grows crustier, older, fatter and blah, blah, blah, blah. Fake ID, ey? Hearing about Huber and Queerben's failed attempts at hitting the New York club scene of the summer is a hit of encouragement, to get an ID for the shows. I know Boston has a severe lack of all-ages shows, but I think they're mostly 18+ which isn't that big of deal now, I mean soon, but you know 18 is on the rise. The problem in DC isn't an all ages thing it's a lack of fucking venues thing. My personal problems are lack of fucking getting in to college and lack of fucking ever having a girlfriend. But you know, I'll find niche, die lonely and well-fed. My name is my last will and testament. alright, this sucks, I'm going back to scanning and collage'ing. Root toot fucking livejournal.
