You Arrogant Bastard

Sick, Sad World

All I have are a couple of amusing links. No time for hilarious summary or self-examination... the more I bother with self-examination, the more stressed out I get. So gimme a couple of days, then will begin the NORTHEAST INVASION and hilarity will ensue.

1) An AFRICAN man has bitten the duST... why? Because he stole another AFRICAN's dong. Or so it would seem...! When can we put an end to all of this black on black violence? This whole thing reminds me of that time when I stole somebody's cock through sorcery. So kids, what do we do in Africa when we aren't starving or dying of AIDS? We kill each other over our cocks.

2) Back home in the good old USA, things aren't much better. We don't resort to violence over dong concern (that is so 1993), but we convert our Down's-syndrome-afflicted children into janitors. It makes sense, right? They all look the same, so they should have a common profession. And we certainly can't build an army out of them. This theorem is tried and true. Ever seen a hispanic hockey player?
And... well, I was gonna make a joke about the photo, but its really one of those fill-in-the-blank kinds of things. Heh heh. Poor exploited tards. (AP)

3) I conclude with a hilarious caper. Seems a clever gentleman robbed someone. I know, you've heard this one before... but its the story of this one that really does it for me.

``He was out in the driveway carrying something to the car and he was approached by a Hispanic male who asked for a drink of water. He went inside to get a drink of water and the man followed him inside and displayed a machete,'' he said.

And thats not all...

Witnesses told police the suspect ran down Francis Road and Route 9 westbound to the Newton and Wellesley Alzheimer's Center parking lot, where investigators believe he took off in a vehicle.

ALZHEIMER's CENTER! Brilliant. They would never have even known he was there. (link via FARK)

So he got away with a few items. But the victim should be happy... at least his cock wasn't stolen! There we are. I've come full circle. I've wrapped it up now.

Quit while you're ahead...

Posted by sw at October 10, 2003 04:31 PM