You Arrogant Bastard

Feverish Masturbation and Slurpees

Alright there's been a lot of commotion over JRussell way about the supposed "downfall" of this weblog community, and to be honest with you, Larry, there's not much I can post here about our own blog group that would not be self-indulgent and ironic. As you may have guessed I've come down with a bit of blogger's block. There are three or four half-finished slabs of wonder sitting in my 'draft' folder. Either I couldn't make a coherent argument or I couldn't make enough contextual references to feverish masturbation and slurpees. Am I losing my touch? No. This community is not collapsing, the people are changing the criteria for what passes as a 'good' entry. I have written much material in the past couple of weeks but have refrained from publishing it, because now that I actually had a significant comment count I feel like I actually have something I should follow up. But no, I choked on the metaphorical no-chew piece. The sinews of expected continuity have lodged themselves in my wind pipe, one end clinging to the meat currently being digested- posts written and published, free to be flamed on by our loyal peanut gallery, and the other end still in my mouth. So here I stand with the classic no-chew-piece struggle: do I try to swallow the piece in my mouth, or do I try to cut the string of fat that chokes me? If I swallow the piece whole, it could give me a stomach ache. That piece is too big to swallow, any doctor would tell you! I can't chew it anymore because I'm choking- I've got to act. Can I cut the string? The stomach has already primed itself for the next piece. I got myself into a rhythm and to pause throws everything into chaos. Everything gets upset on the receiving end.

So here you are, fuckers. I'll cut the string and swallow them both. Analyze that symbolism, you college-bound whores.

Yeah, I've got ideas. I've got ideas enough to fill at least three moderately-sized cabinets. But things have gotten hostile here- such is the changing nature of this community. The blogs are in too much direct competition with each other- we should return to the quiet acknowledgement that we had some four months ago. The goal of these blogs should not be a high comment count, as JRussell is demonstrating right now. Comments should be a reward for a post well written, and fittingly pertinent to the post. These pages are transforming into an informal forum for Saul to make fun of people and then have Klaus chime in about why he hates one thing or another, only to have Trevor retort with some douchebag statement about how the following quotes prove that you are an idiot and he is better than you. Then comes Sklover and Mason and all the peripheral viewers that occasionally take the time to let everybody know they are reading. There's a larger peripheral audience to these things than we might think- it is proven in the webstats every day. Traffic to these blogs doubles every month. I would not doubt that this audience is scared off by the sense of elitist camaraderie that permeates the comment board.

For the first week I rode the comment count, I wanted to see how high it would get. But now the comments are cheap and off-topic. Its like building an obelisk, man. You start out with your good marble to provide a strong base, but then as you gain elevation, nobody hauls the marble up there anymore. You wind up with cheap fucking limestone. By the time you reach the top, you're using shale and pumice. That's not an obelisk you have there, sir. That's a large vertical piece of shit. That's right, a Trevor Martin special. Then I began to synthesize new material, but always stopped short of publication. The commenters on these blogs are increasingly bitter. If I post an interesting link, then I am being too much like Trevor. If I make a scathing insult toward blind people, I am being self-centered. Make fun of a conservative guy and I’m back in the swing of things, but nobody will say so. Comments have been occurring at most lately when people have something cruel to say. Do I have to cater to the young-DC norm of liberal rhetoric to gain approval? Funk dat. I’ll make fun of blind people all I want. The aim of this community was never to piss people off. The blogs are not getting worse, but the people are getting bored. Maybe in a couple of days we will have something to talk about. I'll save the 'A' material until then.

Check out the Northwest Current, there’s an article about the film festival. Meet me on the Midnight Express. You get into Tufts? Schultz thinks so. Check out this dub box set. How was your trip to Papua New Guinea? It’s the club med of Oceania I hear.