You Arrogant Bastard: Fisticuffs?

March 15, 2004

Fisticuffs?

frowney I spent the majority of last night coasting around the same few rooms over and over again, conversing with the old timers, catching up on recent events only to forget them moments later, and toggling between conversations and greetings with nimble expertise. The vocabulary of a high school party is basic. If kindergarteners were physically developed enough to drunkenly wrap their car around a tree and knock each other up, they could participate as well. Assuming, that is, that they can keep up with the volatile nature of current slang (latest trend: sound like a fucking moron). Oh, yeah, and, if they’re really hip, they should learn how roll a twenty dollar bill into a straw narrow enough to fit in their nose. Nights like this made me proud not to be deadlocked into the stereotypical social mainstream. And I’m not even anti-hip enough to be accepted into any sort of underground ‘scene.’

I made several promises last night, but we all know that party promises are like meringue cookies: they look nice at first, but they are hollow and tasteless, and will only complicate your already-formidable bowel difficulties. I promised to draw more Placenta comics. I promised to make a Deck Unit music video. Fuck, man. I think I even promised to collaborate with Mason and Ted “End of Mary” Jurith on some kind of film project. Chalk it up to the carefree environment. And the heavy meth usage. I would like to uphold one of these promises: I have Placenta plotlines ready and waiting. As for the others, well, I don’t much like doing work. So, credit me as an executive producer and I’ll take my cut. But don’t ask me for my tripod: the easy-snap head is missing. Read that as you will.

My night was tainted, however, when I witnessed a conflict between two opposing forces: we’ll call them Frowney and Deddy. Depending on who you’re hanging out with, they are both cunts and kings. There have been times when I would have liked to see either of them take a punch. Yesterday, I didn’t give a fuck who was the bigger douche: the poet with the Wonderboys haircut or the jock with the “DEA” hat and bandana wrapped around his forehead. What I didn’t want to happen was exactly what happened. I was standing by the front doorway, talking to someone or something, when Deddy forced his drunken bulk past me, uttering in his smoke-stained, high pitched rasp, “Frowney out there?” Here we go, I thought. The moment of which the Saul Cohens, Ben Storches and Nick Wisemans of the world had prophesized, with varying usage of the word “striz.”

Frowney was out there talking nervously with someone. I wasn’t sure whether to admire him for facing the situation that had been haunting him for so long, or to look down upon him for the foolishness that would bring him to the same vicinity as this suburban beer baron.

Several months ago, Deddy, who carries with him a reputation for going to parties and disrupting them, breaking stuff and being obnoxious, hosted a party of his own at his home in the Maryland suburbs. Frowney, who carries with him a reputation of being pompous, rude and abrasive, was one among many who was rejected entry into the party, with a line best paraphrased as, “I don’t know you. You can’t come in.” Deddy had been to a party hosted by Frowney in the past and wound up urinating on his basement floor or something like that, so Frowney was understandably incensed. Frowney aided Mike Hopkins in orchestrating a call to police that resulted in the breakup of Deddy’s super fun BCC beer party (and, like, 20 ppl got citations!!!!!!!). What began as a shrewd revenge tactic snowballed into a PR crisis for Frowney, who made the n00b mistake of bragging to everybody he could find about his clever prank. I can testify, as my coach rolled up to the house mere moments after Frowney was denied entry- we left shortly after when Hopkins tipped us off: he was on the phone with the police (uhh.. we were also denied entry). The following week was turbulent for Frowney, with repeated eggings of his house and threats from the ‘unstoppable’ Deck Unit: “I’m just sayin’…Frowney’s gotta step the fuck back- we gonna fuck him up,” the all-white Unit proclaimed. They decided to get high and sit down instead. Ever since that night, however, Frowney strove to distance himself from Deddy, who held the grudge throughout the winter, awaiting the glorious day when he could punch someone much weaker than him.

Deddy burst through the door last night, throwing his girth across the lawn like a some sort of magnificent land-walrus, accompanied by his two cronies, striped collared shirts and all. Frowney muttered “Shit” a tone of unmistakable desperation. Deddy approached him and got into his face, pushing his gut and obtrusive nose into Frowney’s legendarily malodorous personal space. It was the standard I-am-about-to-fight-you stance. The aggressor saunters forward in a homoerotic mixplate of jeers and chest thrusts, head cocked sideways, eyebrows locked in a Sonnabend-esque glare, as though they were being weighed down by invisible sacks of hubris, and face switching angles with every threat, as though tilting his head would somehow give a better angle at which to harm Frowney. A foreigner would have been confused as to whether or not the two were about to kiss.

Frowney took the route of the frightened junior: “Listen, man, it wasn’t me who did that.”

“Who was it then?” Deddy replied.

“Michael Hopkins!”

“Where is he?”

“He’s not here!”

Deddy paused for a moment, then unsheathed his moneyshot line, the cream of his verbal crop: “I’m gonna fuck you up.”

At this point, I stepped in, with the aid of J. Denvir. Crowds were flowing out into the front lawn from the house like water. If there is one thing that will empty a house full of drunken teenagers quicker than the shout of “Cops,” it is the promise of a fight. The drunken are reduced to their most primal of urges: the sex, the violence, the loud noises. The liquor had run dry, and the children had a thirst for blood. We attempted to calm the furor, to pacify the hunchbacked beast preparing to decimate the proud poet, but our slick wordplay had no effect on Deddy: this was a man of action. He was not going to disappoint the crowd.

Frowney was begging for amnesty. “I don’t want to fight you, Deddy,” he repeated over and over.

For a fleeting moment it appeared that Deddy had been talked down- he put up his hands and stepped back, saying “Ok, ok.”

Frowney turned to walk away.

Deddy wheeled and took a swing at Frowney, landing a hit squarely in the side of his head. The crowd went wild.

Frowney fell to the ground. His fall damaged the gardens around the front steps where the hit took place. Dazed and holding his jaw, Frowney struggled to his feet and walked backwards up the small hill that sloped down toward the street in front of the house.

Somebody pushed somebody, I didn’t see who they were. One of them had a striped collared shirt. Another fight was very close to breaking out. It did not, and the crowd continued to focus their attention on the main event.

Deddy pursued Frowney up the hill. He took another swing, again locking a solid blow into Frowney’s head. I didn’t see where it hit that time. Frowney didn’t fall over. Frenzy ensued, and somebody held Deddy back.

The beating was over- to call it a fight would be a misnomer. Frowney receded into a protective shell of gentlemen from the high school class of 2003. Deddy went back into the party to celebrate his fantastic triumph of punching somebody in the head when he wasn’t looking. He tightened the bandana surrounding his tortoise-like head and preceded to wander around making noises and getting drunker. A game of beer pong, old boy, to savor the victory. I helped to herd the masses of kids back inside. This is what we had hoped would not happen. Nothing gets a party busted like a bunch of kids hanging around outside making noise. As the cattle filed back in I noticed that a lot of them bore telltale signs of kids from the suburbs. I'm no Nathaniel Mills, but by playing the violence card, Deddy put everybody's wellbeing at risk and ruined any chance of a Tuesday night blowout at the same location, and these kids were cheering him on.

What occurred made me sick to my stomach. I was punched in the back of the head once, when I wasn’t looking. It was in sixth grade. The experience was unpleasant, and I would not want it to happen to me again. Unfortunately, some seem not to have progressed much from the age of 12. I am no Shaolin warrior, but I know honor from dishonor. I’ve read enough obituaries of Harry Houdini to know that taking a swing at somebody when they do not face you is dishonorable. Deddy stood before Frowney like a rhinoceros before a smoking pig, but he was too cowardly to fight him like a man.

I know that there were plenty of people at this party who publicly will declare their hatred for Deddy that would just as soon cheer on the beating of Frowney. Be that as it may, the sight of Deddy dealing the cheap shot and then moving back to receive the carefully choreographed handshakes of his suburban cohorts truly upset me. Some kid in the suburbs was just beaten to death because some drunken fucks hit him for too long. The fact that Deddy would hold a grudge for months against somebody he barely knew is a testament to the hollow life I would like to assume he leads. J. Denvir put it best when he said, “I’d really like to know what a guy like Deddy does in the daytime.”

If it weren’t for Peter Pakhomkin, I would assume that everybody at BCC is a Deddy or a Deddy’s crony, making the school deserving of my hi-larious acronym Beer Consuming Cunts. Do us all a favor and keep your cowardly bullshit back in the suburbs of Maryland where it belongs. Don’t poison our beloved City of Chocolate. Nonono, not you, Peter. You come in here anytime. The door’s open. Live sex show.

Posted by sw at March 15, 2004 01:48 AM

Comments

Poor Frowney

Posted by: Lukas Manneun at March 15, 2004 09:36 AM

quite an entry. I don't know how I would have reacted an that situation had I stayed past my 9:30 bed time. I certainly think that Frowney could use a healthy beating to turn him in to harden man who finds himself dripping in blood rather than current state (finding himself covered in a myriad his and other people's ejaculate), but I would defend Frowney against some BCC douches on principal, plus I owe Frowney for letting me use his house to touch breasts. If I had stayed, I would have been doing some drinking, and I was in that 'HC' state of mind, I dunno.

whatever.

fuck it

Fiesta on Tuesday?

Posted by: JRuss at March 15, 2004 10:14 AM

Hannah G. and the asian chick hooked up twice!!! twice!!!! by the way, g. love, that striped shirt kid pushed me becuz hes a fag and all of freddys friends are. if he really wants to fight, we should get "the" black people to substitute for us so they can beat the shit out of these fucking white kids.

Posted by: Jon Mandel at March 15, 2004 10:47 AM

nothing i hate more than white people.
and nice use of sarcasm on 'the' black people, i cant tell you how annoying it is to hear "there were black people there? which black people were there?"

Posted by: sw at March 15, 2004 12:07 PM

Sounds fun.

Posted by: DHI at March 15, 2004 01:15 PM

Mandel knew he wasn't wanted at that party.

Posted by: JRuss at March 15, 2004 03:48 PM

Mandel, you must mean 'dude' instead of 'chick.' Boys kiss girls. And Swestica, great fucking post, magnifico.

Now, I agree that I have no problem with Frowney being hit, but (1) it is not honorable to hit someone when they are not looking and (2) Someone from Wilson is higher up on my list than a suburban white kid, so fuck Deddy.. I mean, who names their kid Deddy anyway? Eventually, maybe have 12, it would become Deodore or Ded. But not still Deddy at his age.

There are only two people who ware bandanas that I respect: G-Baque and Phillip of the Z-Boys (whose name is now Cpt. Kirk Cobain).

Some people gotsta realize, that people who live in DC are very proud of DC. Ever heard of "nobody hits my little brother but me?" Frowney could be the Native Little Brother, a product of what has happened since his arrival at Wilson.

Posted by: dcohen at March 15, 2004 03:49 PM

THE PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS "BLOG POST" ARE

DOWNEY AND FREDDY

BAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHAH

[DISAPPEARS]

Posted by: SECRET REVEALER at March 15, 2004 06:36 PM

Hmmm, interesting summary. I believe we were talking about working on some project sans Ted, but those kind of agreements are transparently spurious even through the beer goggles we were both wearing. Anyway, I gave you your tripod plate on friday.

Posted by: Cash at March 15, 2004 06:37 PM

I wouldn't give Jaime too much credit for trying to break up that fight, if I were you, Sam. You know what I mean. *wink*

Posted by: ScorpioN at March 15, 2004 07:44 PM

i'm just doing the federal investigation here. if somebody wants to be bob woodward, be my guest

Posted by: sw at March 15, 2004 07:51 PM

Hey thanks DCO, I appreciate your comment, that was quite nice of ya. But as far as Frownster and Headdy go, there should be no yearning to see downey go down. He is clearly innocuous, sure you can argue, an asshole at times, but nonetheless its understood by all probably even himself, and none of us should wish to see him trapped in some embattlement. After all, he did get me a birthday present. Hey thanks Downey.

Posted by: GRB at March 15, 2004 08:44 PM

The only way to deal with BCC fucks is to steal their vanity license plates. They're all douchebags. Except Peter Pakhomkin. He smells good. And me.

Posted by: nippytoes at March 16, 2004 01:48 AM

Vanity License plates? They are all play on the words "Mother fucking asshole.

I wonder what could be described of the Mattress Party. if it happens....

Posted by: dcohen at March 16, 2004 01:09 PM

Wow...I had only known Down... Frowney was a chain smoker. I had no idea he was a poor, apparently abrasive poet. Well, obviously Deddy did some punk shit... but Downey's alive, eh...that's crazy.

Posted by: cobayoloco at March 16, 2004 03:07 PM

Downey's so abrasive, they use him to smooth down very rough wood surfaces before using a finer grade of sandpaper.

Nah, but he's a good guy, at least better than some some fat and abusive BCC fuck.

Great post, Boss West. I especially like "Deddy stood before Frowney like a rhinoceros before a smoking pig, but he was too cowardly to fight him like a man." This writing is very good. So good it should be done weekly. WEEKLY!

Posted by: DHI at March 16, 2004 04:57 PM

BahaHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAa

HAh

Posted by: BAHAHHA at March 16, 2004 05:05 PM

upstanding, boyo.

makes me feel better. I thought that this was someone who I actually had feelings for, rather it was frowney. Hell. As long as it wasn't my irish brother-in-arms I'm happy.

and yes, a fine piece of journalistic goodsmanship.
I'm going to buy sushi.

Posted by: ma$e at March 16, 2004 06:17 PM

I know this is going to be biased...

It's kind of a kick in the gut seeing fellow piers of Downey agree they'd like to see him take a punch, but then go on to say that they harbor pity for the guy, because that's bullshit. Condoning violence. I am no Nathaniel Mills either, but this kid has held parties, poker games, been in plays, and even though his abrasiveness can be evident enough to warrant comment, who are you guys kidding? I was fucking mugged in Tenleytown over winterbreak and it was Downey who went out on limb (and not a white BCC Asshole limb, but a potentially very serious thug limb) to help find a little bit of justice for that asshole. I'm not asking for any school walk out in support of him, I understand as well as anyone that you're not going to like everyone you meet, but I can't sit here and read this passive-agressive denunciation of the kid, because while I read of the disgust at Teddy's sucker punching of the kid, that goes hand in hand with a verbal sucker punch. Tell it to his face, maybe you have and I'm just blowing wind, but look for parallels between what you say in passing and what others act upon.

Posted by: who do you think? at March 16, 2004 07:31 PM

quite an entry, sam-o. seeing as how i was the host of the party, let me ring in on this issue. while i don't know either downey or freddy all that well, i know that the fight should never have happened. and im pissed that it did.
i now know that the fight was orchestrated by some people i know. i also now know that that fight is essentially the reason my steps got ripped up, the pieces of slate that my mom carefully arranged as part of her flower display got knocked to fucking hell, the reason i couldn't hide the fact that i had a party. i'm gonna get in a fair bit of trouble as a result of the party, but i think that it could have been avoided had the fight not happened.
or, maybe i should just be thankful that i didn't get in more trouble. fights are bad news for any party, and if any of my neighbors had decided to tune into the situation at that point, cops would have been called. a lot of people would have gotten in trouble. me.
i stuck my fucking neck out for a third time to host a good fucking party...and what happens? people literally arrange a fight to happen. those people, people i know, know what fights mean, so please, don't hide behind any type of excuse that includes "i didn't know it would cause any trouble". now i understand that the principle reason this fight happened is because freddy is a douchecuntsmash, but i'm still angry.

Posted by: tvladICK at March 16, 2004 08:53 PM

yeah, i don't know this D/Freddy fellow--- but i think my distaste for white kids with a "faux urban affiliation" is more known than not (i.e. fuck you Chris Blessing!)

THE POINT BEING: (apologies for redundancies or coat-tailing on others comments) yes, Downey is a prick. But as DCo made the brilliant point of mentioning, he is our prick and we will stand up
for our prick (don't take that out of context) before some pompous, vanilla-ice'd punk from out of town fucking blindsides him.

THE REAL POINT BEING: tell me the next time you have a party.

Oh yeah, JRuss:
I couldn't make it to the Matress Discounters thing because I received notice in the mail that I got accepted to the Air Force Academy and my mom wanted to celebrate. Crazy bitch! West Point is by far the better school, so this really changes nothing.

Posted by: William Dwyer at March 16, 2004 11:01 PM

Right, I've got a few things to say. First, I want to apologize to Nick and Seth and B, in retrospect i would have stopped mike, in retrospect i wouldn't have urged him on. The three of you have always been nice to me and i think I've always been hospitable to you. Seth, that time i saw you get hit really pissed me off, and i'm sure had, (who do you think this is?)and myself not been too inebriated to walk we would have done something, i regret it to this day that we didn't chase those motherfuckers at CB's party last year. My love goes out to sam and andrew kline and andrew giffin and Jon Feur and Ben Storch, Ben Sergerson, and vince carrol.Jon Mandel, damn...just damn! J. Denver too. Gabby, you're welcome. Oh, yeah and if you're going to come to a dc party for a dc school, and try to fuck things up for everyone there, fuck off! Freddy, you're a cheap-shot fat-prick-motherfucker and if i was half as big as you are...no matter how many times you hit me or egg my house i still didn't call the motherfucking cops on you're ass!
You know, people right books and make movies with people like you as villians? You remind me of those guys who tortured james castle in catcher in the rye, you arrogant bastard, you're house isn't all that nice, no, not at all. Way to hold a grudge bro! I want to say sorry to tom, but the fuck should never have been let in the first place. DCO, you're built and i would have liked it had you been there. ben Storch, and andrew giffin i love you both, i'd probably be dead if it weren't for the two of you. To make a long story short, i want this shit to end, cause like sam said, its only going to get worse. All of y'all who posted above are welcome at my house anytime, at my parties, anytime.

Posted by: Robert M. Downey at March 16, 2004 11:35 PM

Posted by: Robert M. Downey at March 16, 2004 11:36 PM

Dude, that's a very gentlemanly statement. Well done. See you at mattress? I heading there again soon.

Posted by: DHI at March 17, 2004 12:05 AM

Hey guys. I wasn't at the party at any time and im sorry, but I still love everyone. By

Posted by: A.Loew at March 17, 2004 01:15 AM

I second that emotion

Posted by: lukas manneun at March 17, 2004 01:16 AM

i like girl titty suck

Posted by: wingsofthedove at March 17, 2004 01:17 AM

i'm going to forward a message from Queer Ben:

"IT WASN'T A FUCKING FIGHT".

I wasn't there so I don't know, but Queerben's beeing saying that a lot so I figure it ought to be documented.

Posted by: JRuss at March 17, 2004 08:04 AM

it's YOUR, for christ's sake.

Posted by: dfsfdg at March 17, 2004 11:56 AM

don't be a speed bump in grunge-revivalists parade.

Posted by: JRuss at March 17, 2004 02:02 PM

klein, i understand where you're coming from, but my honest intention with this thing wasn't a 'passive agressive denunciation' of downey, it was my sick little version of objective journalism. by the last couple of paragraphs i had thrown that away, but i was structuring this thing by pointing out foibles in both of the gents in order to build the feeling of the piece as a whole.
if you had been at tom's you would have seen me do my best to keep anything from happening to downey, and i told him myself to check this out when i had published it.
not a verbal sucker punch- when we were younger, tom and i would beat the shit out of each other and then play mariokart together the next day. it only strengthened our friendship.

Posted by: sw at March 17, 2004 03:36 PM

mariokart was fucking awesome.

Posted by: DHI at March 17, 2004 05:03 PM

i don't fault anyone for saying any shit about me, i'm a cunt...no...its okay...i'll walk home...no really....

Posted by: downey at March 17, 2004 09:03 PM

No, don't worry, you're not a cunt.

If you were a cunt, all the guys would want to fuck you. Although I guess it could be said that Freddy fisted you when you weren't looking.

Allright, enough with the puns.

Because puns are the worst kind of joke.

Posted by: DHI at March 17, 2004 09:29 PM

Actually I gotta admit some responsibility for the Downey-bashing, inasmuch as I think meanspirited jokes about Downey are funny. He's the kind of guy you can like and still like to make fun of. I think Gabby is right though in drawing the line at saying he deserved to be hit. I hope nobody believes that what Freddy did was right, because, although I wasn't there for the attack or the party that triggered it, it seemed by all accounts of people who were there to be both unnecessary and dishonorable.

Whatever, I'm just saying what others have said. That's where I stand, though. Just so you know.

Posted by: DHI at March 17, 2004 09:36 PM

mario kart 64 is such a sweet game. i can't believe i dont have it, but i do own diddy kong fucking racing. i do have the original super mario kart, thouhg.

i guarantee no one can beat my time trial score on the first course in the mushroom cup.

Posted by: efdknmfasd at March 17, 2004 10:43 PM

the first two games of the donkey kong country series are fantastic.

Posted by: rhgdfsagf@fas.fasdas at March 17, 2004 10:45 PM

i can't believe i have street fighter 2 AND street fighter 2 turbo... they're like the same fucking game, only with turbo you can fight as m. bison, sagat and those other 2 dudes!!

Posted by: sdfa at March 17, 2004 10:47 PM

m. bison's sliding kick (down + R) is pretty much invincible in 2 player vs. mode.

Posted by: sdafsdfa at March 17, 2004 10:48 PM

down, down-right, right + Y

Posted by: fjggfghfdg at March 17, 2004 10:50 PM

Was diddy kong racing any good? I always liked playing as a monkey. Although I could never figure out why there would be a monkey called "Donkey" It makes no fucking sense, other than that they start with the same letter. As for the street fighter, I have both mortal kombat III and ultimate mortal kombat III. Those two are much different though. The only problem with UMKIII is Scorpion doesn't actually say anything when he does the spear. In the older games he said "Git over here" and it was cool.

Posted by: DHI at March 17, 2004 10:52 PM

puns are fucking great though

Posted by: safdsda at March 17, 2004 10:53 PM

"donkey kong" is a poor translation from the japanese phrase that means "stubborn monkey." i dont get it though... kong isn't even a fucking word

diddy kong racing was actually pretty good. it's at least as good as mario kart 64 in the battle modes, which are sweet. but the levels just arent up to par.

Posted by: ggfsdhg at March 17, 2004 10:58 PM

dude, if you manage to block bison's sliding kick, bison is immobile for like a full second and you can do some serious damage.

you dont sound like saul, who you is?

Posted by: sw at March 17, 2004 11:45 PM

It's your blog, check his IP against

it's YOUR, for christ's sake.
Posted by dfsfdg at March 17, 2004 11:56 AM

because that one almost surely was Saul. But I think this one is too, but then again you know Saul better than I. Well, look into it with your powers. Of course, different IPs don't prove different person, because I use different computers to make my comments/posts at different times.

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 12:11 AM

I bet it's Mandel.

He knows his name is muddd here, but he has an unhealthy tendency to keep coming back. Motherfucker.

Downey, stop using my lines. You using the walking home bit is like watching the roots of tree bleed and the branches become murmurs of fucking nothingness.

Posted by: JRuss at March 18, 2004 09:05 AM

it's me, douchebags

Posted by: dsaffda at March 18, 2004 12:37 PM

by me i mean SECRET REVEALER

Posted by: dsfafd at March 18, 2004 12:38 PM

once again I say I believe it's the real Saul.

That was a good one JRuss. Quite a good one.

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 12:40 PM

Haha saul, beat you to fifty!

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 12:40 PM

the best parts of mario 3 are the mini battle things in 2 player mode.

Posted by: rqwege at March 18, 2004 05:49 PM

LuasNehoc: ill beat you to 100 though
Ihavegodinacage: damn you, fiend!
Ihavegodinacage: allright man
Ihavegodinacage: race you to 100

It's on now, Jake!

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 05:51 PM

it's no fair when you have broad band, dick

il, just have to wait till you get close and then ..

oh yeah

Posted by: sdgfdfgsdgfa at March 18, 2004 05:54 PM

Dude did you download porn from me? There's someone with a name like sdgadf@Kazaa that downloaded "Jenna Jameson Porn Lesbian Orgy". But then again lesbian means no cock, so it couldn't have been you.

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 06:06 PM

it's not me, but have you seen that movie with jenna jameson having lesbian sex on various cars ?? it's sweet.

by the way, trevor once said "i can't jerk off if there's no cock in it"

Posted by: fgsdgfdg at March 18, 2004 06:07 PM

Yes, yes I have, although I downloaded under a non-jenna name I think. I have an assortment of over 200 pornographic video materials in my collection.

Hahahaha....Tbag. Well, that explains that feminine-toned call from his cell phone two weeks ago.

Tbag, not even "Janine and Nikki Tyler Lesbian Threesome"? That one's great, it's got dildos that you can sort of imagine your cock as, which of course won't do any good if you're gay, but still"
Three women, three double dildos, three orifice on each. I suggest you check it out.

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 06:14 PM

you got a cd burning or firewire port?

...

Posted by: dfgsgfsdf at March 18, 2004 06:24 PM

i mean burner...

...

Posted by: dsfzsd at March 18, 2004 06:25 PM

how many times have i seen this homer gets a new car/marge sells real estate episode in the past month? christ

Posted by: asdgfsads at March 18, 2004 06:33 PM

I FOUND THIS HAT!

Posted by: fghfsd at March 18, 2004 06:33 PM

i resent that malodorous comment, i use after-shave from the south of france, its smells like lavender...isco, what did i ever do to you? why does every one think i'm so abrasive?

Posted by: downey at March 18, 2004 08:01 PM

second to last entry of mine i credit to jruss...nude duel?

Posted by: downey at March 18, 2004 08:06 PM

The main I said that was so that I could get the joke on the double meaning of abrasive. As in, sandpaper is physcially abrasive. And that word had been used often. That being said, I can see where the idea comes from. It's hard to describe why... don't worry about it, we all got faults. I'll let you all list mine right now, actually.

To answer your question, you always been good to me, Downey, especially during the one acts when you was trying to make sure I had something to do. I just think the jokes about you are funny because I have a meanspirited sense of humor and many of them are well done. You're an easy person to make fun of, but it'd be hard to find someone who I wouldn't laugh at jokes about. Especially that Sidwell guy. I do like jokes about that Sidwell guy, mostly in defiance of the crucifixion of Storch after that one he made, not that I was there, but I personally heard the dialogues of Sidwell people (by way of my brother) who hate the guy for no reason other than that, and from hwhat I hear it seems like he really did have to say something in that situation.

Speaking of racing games, Saul, I hear they have a new game called That Sidwell Guy Racing. In addition to gettting the best speed, there's a sleep meter on the right and you gotta make sure you don't fall asleep, veer off the road, crash, and die when you're not even drunk.

I may regret my words about this game later on, when some Sidwell people threaten my life. Oh fuckin well.

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 08:31 PM

I see that unlike me, Swest has not enabled html in posts. There goes my emphasis.

That post was too long, man, just edit out half the words randomly in order to shorten it.

Sdghdshjfd I do have a CD burner, and seeing as I'm already going to burn a copy of Debbie Does Dallas for vix (I'm still not entirely sure exactly who she is), I guess I can copy some stuff for you. What do you want?

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 08:34 PM

come on same, where is the report from tuesday night at "The Hospital"

Posted by: dcohen at March 18, 2004 08:45 PM

hahaha.... that's a good name for it. Almost as good as "Deli G". Actually, as a name for a party location containing multiple mattresses and plain walls and floors, "The Hospital" is better than "Deli G". But as a nickname for Andrew Giffin, "Deli G" is better than "The Hospital". Speaking of Deli G, and the only person I've heard use the "Deli" part, WHEN WE GONNA FINISH JUNIUS FILMING, SWEST? Although "The Hospital" would be a pretty sweet nickname for somebody. It'd be a name that makes you wonder "Where the fuck did he get such a cool name?"

Person A: Hi, my name is Steve.
Person B: My name is also Steve, but they call me "The Hospital"
Person A: Well, Steve
Person B: I only talk to people who address me as "The Hospital"
Person A: That is too cool, The Hospital. Too fucking cool.

Sam West does not like to do many posts in close proximity, like A FUCKING WEEK.

Prove me wrong you cardinal-direction-last-named bastard.

Wow, I've put more content in comments than in me own blog.

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 08:55 PM

that comment that ben made was in reference to that bitch sarah, i don't think he's got any probelm with tyler, anyway fuck you sidwell, stop going to our parties, except sean.

Posted by: downey at March 18, 2004 09:13 PM

Yeah, I realize that. It wasn't an insult to Tyler, it was a response to that bitch for what she was saying about Wilson. All accounts seemed to confirm this.

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 09:38 PM

Swest,

Basically I was pissed off at not being there to help out and that was combined with seeing lots of the ever-popular Downey comments. I make sure to give him a shitload of those comments every time I see them, but the context was what set me off. In all honesty, I don't doubt that you were being the good guy you always are, so please excuse me for my abrasiveness. Cuz this shit don't need no abrasion. It so smooth you could piss on it without a splash. Question: did this entry get the record for most posts? I am not a regular on the blog rings of the Young Bohemians, but it seems crazy, although in my opinion all too perfect, that I am the 69th post.

Klein(o)

Posted by: Klein at March 18, 2004 10:03 PM

This never would have happened had the Secret Revealer not blown his cover.

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 11:33 PM

And by his cover I mean Frowney's. Blowing his own cover was stupid, but did not change the course of history.

Posted by: DHI at March 18, 2004 11:37 PM

downey blew his cover all over a full-length mirror

Posted by: trresdsfg at March 19, 2004 12:14 AM

downey blew his cover all over a full-length mirror

Posted by: trresdsfg at March 19, 2004 12:15 AM

downey blew his cover all over a full-length mirror

Posted by: trresdsfg at March 19, 2004 12:15 AM

that was an accident but it's still good enough for 3 posts. my bust

Posted by: ddgfsgf at March 19, 2004 12:16 AM

"we all thought you loved yourself
But that couldn't have been the issue, or maybe
they just sayin that, now cause they miss you" - DMX

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 12:24 AM

You know, relevant because the statement was implying he loved himself... yeah..."Not that there's anything wrong with that" - Seinfeld.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 12:25 AM

Allriigggggggggghhhhhhttt.... I'm not making any sense. Time for bed. Now's your chance to take 100 by yoself, Saul. But too many unanswered posts looks bad. Four is the limit. And I'm stopping at three. What self-control.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 12:27 AM

the pig says my wife is a slut??

Posted by: bobbo at March 19, 2004 01:26 AM

The slut says your wife is a pig.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 08:07 AM

Comments on Sumbitch, for 16 Entries: 67

Comments on this one entry: 80

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 12:23 PM

[nods, smiling]

Posted by: asdfsad at March 19, 2004 02:52 PM

lord of the rims

Posted by: dgfdfsgd at March 19, 2004 02:54 PM

You got more access than me, I pretty much only have time for this one post.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 02:58 PM

Jesus christ you two cock fiends need to stop spamming this comment thing. No one wants to read the shit you are typing.

Posted by: ScorpioN at March 19, 2004 04:10 PM

Man that was totally uncalled for. Only Saul loves cock.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 04:11 PM

Well, him and gay men and straight women.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 04:11 PM

That's an act, that's a frying pan, that's a stove, you're an alcoholic! Dude, I'm tripping right now, and I still see that that's a fucking egg, alright? I see the UFO's around it, but that's a goddamn egg in the middle. There's a hobbit eating it, but goddammit that hobbit's eating a fucking egg! He's on a unicorn. But, no, th-th-th-that's a fucking egg. How dare you have a wino tell me not to do drugs!

Posted by: reyutytywe at March 19, 2004 05:16 PM

MOTHERFUCKERMOTHERFUCKER

Posted by: SHE'S DEAD! at March 19, 2004 05:17 PM

I'm not an alcoholic I just like alcohol and can't get enough of it.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 05:18 PM

who's dead?

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 05:18 PM

if i got into a fight would you all get my back?

Posted by: The Herbephile at March 19, 2004 05:19 PM

actually maybe I should stop this, after all, God did say so.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 05:19 PM

my grandmother :(

Posted by: The Herbephile at March 19, 2004 05:19 PM

oh shit that sucks.

I was hoping it was margaret.

dead girls are easy.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 05:20 PM

i mean, i don't see myself as the kind of person to provoke that sort of action anyway, but it would be cool to know if i had some bloghommies to back me up

Posted by: The Herbephile at March 19, 2004 05:21 PM

Man the reason I'm sitting here at home posting is I just got ditched by four short people just because I wanted to get food.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 05:21 PM

fuck

Posted by: fsdksdfa at March 19, 2004 05:22 PM

Promote what? Alcohol?

Dude you're a bad drunk

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 05:22 PM

i hope mark dies and i can have sex with is ever-hard penis in my butt. thats right. marks boner is ETERNAL! when he dies, it will live on...

Posted by: The Herbephile at March 19, 2004 05:22 PM

maybe

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 05:22 PM

damnit

Posted by: fsdgsf at March 19, 2004 05:23 PM

OH SHIT!!! Damn it Saul, CHUCK took post 100!

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 05:23 PM

im talking anout a fight, dipshitizzle. i don't think i'd start one, but if i did...

Posted by: The Herbephile at March 19, 2004 05:23 PM

Well, I guess that either means 150 or we're done.

OK God, I will listen to your word and stop now.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 05:24 PM

One last thing... if you're talking about my brother, he may have an eternal boner, but it matters not due to its lack of size.

Posted by: DHI at March 19, 2004 05:25 PM

8====D

Posted by: wetrazdg at March 19, 2004 05:26 PM

8===================D

Posted by: shggssf, at March 19, 2004 05:27 PM

enough of this

Posted by: sw at March 20, 2004 01:17 PM

let's go to MY blog

Posted by: dcohen at March 20, 2004 11:33 PM

you coulda made your name a link to your blog to make it easier for them

here:
www.cocaineinmotion.com/dcblog

by the way, unless something changes by later tonight, my brain is devoid of anything good enough for a quantity post, much less a quality. it does not look good for /diblog

Posted by: DHI at March 21, 2004 11:35 AM

i think the guy who has keyboard trouble is queerben. i ain't ever heard anyone say "my bust" in my life, but him. gotta be the queerben.
unless others are given to the use of this queer, queer phrase.
in that case i've wasted five MORE minutes of my time.

Posted by: dan whitener sucks at March 26, 2004 01:13 AM

Hahahaha...

Dude, you're an idiot.

a) Everyone else who posted on the blog knows who the fuck sdfdgsad is.
b) It's not Queerben.
c) Queerben is CapsFanBen.
d) sdfhgsgs is addressed by his real name serveral times.
e) since when was Storch ever called "the queerben"?
f) You have wasted five more minutes of your time.

Posted by: DHI at March 26, 2004 05:16 PM

oh, wait, i get it, it is a picture of Downey.... ok....

Posted by: dcohen at March 27, 2004 02:33 PM

Oooooooooh... I get it now.

The arty photoshopping confused me.

Thanks.

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