You Arrogant Bastard

Usum da Booma

You know, it seems like ev'ry time I come around here, I'm bringin the bad news. But I gotta give em something before takeoff.

Dizardo (9:41:01 PM): the shit i just took was just like a bunch of pebbles
Self (9:41:34 PM): hahahah
Self (9:41:35 PM): i know that
Self (9:41:46 PM): one time i took a shit: twas comprised of floaters, they spelled out words for me

Dizardo (9:41:59 PM): what were these word(s)
Self (9:42:13 PM): i dunno, it was like a fortune cookie
Self (9:42:24 PM): it warned me against the monkey
Dizardo (9:42:52 PM): yeah man
Dizardo (9:43:01 PM): that monkey is a stone cold motherfuCKER
Self (9:43:11 PM): fuck the monkey, says the ancient chinese calendar
Dizardo (9:43:21 PM): you were born in the year of the Tiger
Self (9:43:26 PM): yeah man
Dizardo (9:43:29 PM): I, in the year of the OX

Self (9:43:30 PM): beware the monkey they say
Self (9:43:38 PM): and i'm gonna marry a horse or some horrible horrible shit like that
Self (9:43:45 PM): fuck the chinese, man
Dizardo (9:43:48 PM): I think I'm going to marry a Cock
Dizardo (9:43:51 PM): yeah, those assholes
Self (9:43:52 PM): don't trust people that fry their food that deep
Dizardo (9:44:01 PM): think they can send a MAN Inna Space
Dizardo (9:44:04 PM): well they're wrong
Self (9:44:18 PM): yeah, those morons

Self (9:44:30 PM): cant make no spaceship outta wontons
Self (9:44:46 PM): but they can make a wanton spaceship out of the underpants of young girls
Self (9:44:50 PM): fuck, wait, thats the japanese
Dizardo (9:44:56 PM): hahahahaha
Self (9:45:04 PM): fucked up: both of em
Self (9:45:18 PM): i blame the japanese, they really got carried away in WWII

Dizardo (9:45:19 PM): all squinty eyed
Self (9:45:35 PM): that whole area became like an isolated booth where children get molested
Self (9:45:49 PM): until somebody dropped the bomb on the booth
Self (9:45:58 PM): and all the sudden, no more pervs
Dizardo (9:46:26 PM): ois
Self (9:47:10 PM): you know what im saying though, the japs were the perverted father, and the chinese were the fat kid with sugar all up on his arms
Self (9:47:18 PM): and the father is like, come here, let me get at those arms
Self (9:47:38 PM): and that fat kid cant get away from the father, he does far too many squats to be bested by an obese youngster

Self (9:48:02 PM): so he has his way with the fat kid, and, surprise surprise, a few years later they both wear surgical masks down the street
Self (9:48:23 PM): surely they must know that those masks cannot compete with today's ULTRAGERMS
Dizardo (9:48:24 PM): so verdad
Dizardo (9:48:40 PM): those fucking AZNS living so close together
Self (9:48:45 PM): yep, its like an ant colony

Dizardo (9:48:45 PM): why don't they live on boats
Self (9:49:08 PM): yeah man they cook a good fish, if they could live like gungans, we'd have more arable soil
Self (9:49:20 PM): we could make one hell of an amusement park on that arable soil
Dizardo (9:50:13 PM): and the Japanease could serve as the carnies, millions of em
Self (9:50:23 PM): heheh

Self (9:50:26 PM): stupid gungans

Dizardo (9:50:37 PM): and there would finally be go cart races and such as their video games show us
Self (9:50:46 PM): yep
Self (9:50:57 PM): with giant egg-vomiting pink dinosaurs

Self (9:51:05 PM): fuck, what am i talking about, i love the japanese
Dizardo (9:51:16 PM): i know, i know
Dizardo (9:52:26 PM): where would we be without them little guys
Dizardo (9:54:21 PM): who would we have to invent CD players and quality stereos and then let us pat them on the head
Dizardo (9:54:33 PM): (which is easy to do considering how diminuitive they are)
Self (9:54:52 PM): yep

DVD release has been pushed back to late July. Guinea tales release: mid july. Keep it slick over (t)here.

Posted by sw at June 21, 2004 02:00 AM