Load this into your gastrula and metabolize it:
A procrastinatory look towards DCo's last post had me looking at the Internet Archive Wayback Machine. I was trying to find the secret code required to combine two computer games, both of which were based around creating vulgar movies with talking animated animals wearing suits, published by a now-defunct software company. I was unsuccessful in my search, so I tried to find the old CMGN websites (first internet-published literature, predating both CiM and QGGOAT. Parody newspaper from sixth grade circulated via email, and later, the web- contributors included none other than Dizardo himself). They were no longer on the Angelfire servers, so I tried to back a step further and hit up those 7th grade personal web-pages, (e.g. http://www.expage.com/page/sublimtym) but, alas, they are all gone as well, along with all of the slogans and the 'favorite band' lists (Sublime, Rage, Reel Big Fish, Kid Rock) and their blistering hate towards Kitt, which I guess would have made much more sense in context back then... it really was a unifying theme on those three or four pages that were all set up by Seth and Scall- the violent murder of Kitt.
Now while all us fresh new college kids reflect upon our glorious days of yore and wonder why the kids at college are all so socially awkward and hook-nosed Jewish, we certainly must not forget the forerunners of DCPS student domain-namery, the perpetually aliased Alapo and Luasn. Yes, Holtzmaniac is archived. Here's a little piece of the action, in case you missed it back in '01.

Also up there on the Holtzmaniac archive page are DCo's old ramblings, very similar to the MINDFUCK dialogues concocted over Spring Break that year. I challenge anyone to find the missing pages I cited earlier. Go!
fuck that's embarassing
Posted by: adsfsdasd at September 27, 2004 09:01 PMwhat is weirder is who is sending the dead cat links now.,...
Posted by: dcohen at September 27, 2004 10:26 PMhahaha
Posted by: Kitten Fucker at September 27, 2004 11:30 PMI found the comment about college kids being "hooked-nose Jewish" offensive and rather shocking for a writer of your obvious talents and sophistication.
Posted by: Titanic at September 28, 2004 11:57 AMcome now, jews are allowed to make fun of their own, right? that's how sitcoms are born. besides, we'd be missing the point if we lied to ourselves and pretended that colleges around the nation are not packed to the brim with these semitic supermen.
Posted by: sw at September 28, 2004 02:13 PMFunny, you don't look Jewish...even "supermen" have nose jobs, I suppose.
Posted by: Titanic at September 28, 2004 02:33 PM"I found the comment about college kids being "hooked-nose Jewish" offensive and rather shocking for a writer of your obvious talents and sophistication."
Is this some sort of college person? I found the comment about being offended and shocked rather amusing for a blog of such obvious humor and irreverence.
But where are the pictures of dead cats?
But TITanic, it is even more amusing that you, the one offended by "hooked-nose jewish", are now implying that Jews must have hook noses!
But I must see what these dead cat links were.
Posted by: DHI at September 28, 2004 05:34 PMsome people take things too seriously, or their jokes are not accompanied with Internet-Indicators of a joke.... some people think that when people make fun of jews they mean hate...these people need some armor.... Armour.
Posted by: dcohen at September 28, 2004 07:30 PMThis blog raises the not-so-interesting but noteworthy issue of how documents will be preserved as more and more correspondence is transferred from letters, telegraphs, and the like to the far more perishible mediums of e-mail and instant messaging. Though I doubt this debate will elicit the enthusiastic response that say, dialogue on the merits of illegal file-sharing aroused, I view myself as the black sheep of this community and even mentioning the issue without adding any supplementary opinion or information only further inflates this perception. So will we have the sort of documentary evidence for how early 21st Century neo-fascist republican policies affect the average american that we have for the humbling era of the WWII war economy or the individual internal strife characteristic of the civil war? I emphatically say no.
Posted by: Lukas Manneun at September 29, 2004 12:31 AMNo Klaus, if you want to take this finding to a higher level, it is much more reasonable to heed it personally rather than politically; what the author showed us was how in the vastness of the internet the words we say with or without much thought are stained on this information highway even long after we've moved on to other things. Klaus, I know for a fact you have left the carcasses of several blogs and journals scattered across the internet. Even though you're a college student across the fucking country, they still exist and you've referenced that, its become part of the intertwining of humanity and technology, just as the internet is totally changing communication for our generation, so that we can stay in touch this way. Another thing this brings up is the scrapes and gripes of an "outside" commenter; with all the racial slurs and and sundry ethnic jokes in all of the blogs hosted here, we all understand that none of us are racists, and that our upbringing in DC and at Wilson has led us to all kinds of observatations creating levels of jokes about jokes about race and so on, nothing worth thinking about, just laugh. I wasn't laughing at jews being hook-nosed, I was laughing about jews being called hook-nosed. I enjoyed it. Despite his obvious talent and sohpistication, the author has thrown in a fast sweet ethnic joke here and there since the beginning, it makes us laugh, its one of the founding pilars 'round here.
Slurpees, burritos, racial slurs, white collar crime, intense psychotropic milkshakes, and so on.
Posted by: JRuss at September 29, 2004 03:11 PMYeah, sorry Luukas, I think JRuss pretty much summed it up correctly. High-brow intellectualism fails again!
Posted by: DHI at September 29, 2004 05:18 PMWhen you post your thoughts on the Internet, you're out there, baby--there's no such thing as an "outside" commenter. (There's also no such thing as a "commenter," but that's a whole other issue.)
Posted by: Titanic at September 29, 2004 05:39 PMklaus-- while single-file personal webpages from the year 2000 may perish, there is such a flood of newer personal material that WILL be preserved (by internet archival, electronic data management, etc) that the HUMANs from the next century will be able to look back and understand our society far better than they could ever comprehend, say, the pre-wwii world, assuming that they will be able to sift through all the porn. the scrolling text and animated GIFs of single letters of useless personal sites will not all make it through, and thats ok. we will get rid of most of the junk that has no enduring value, but keep enough of it so the layouts can become a hip 'retro internet' trend, and possibly fill a museum exhibit about the roots of the internet in 20 years.
also don't forget that we are in the process of digitizing our history as well, old documents and letters that will in a hundred years have decomposed, but will live on through binary code (or for you hipsters, ASCII). the real problem arises when we nuke the earth and ALIENZ come down 500 years from now and are not able to plug in our giant mainframes... so we gotta keep dem hard copies in good shape as well. thats right... keep it hard.
and as far as email and instant messaging goes, i'm willing to believe that correspondence will be backed up about the same amount as it is today--- most people don't record all of their telephone conversations and save all their mail.
but i wholeheartedly agree with you about the perishability of these media... a full, balls-out computer crash happens a lot more frequently than a house fire that destroys all of your possessions.
people do print things out, though, and i'm willing to believe that a memorable email is just as likely to be printed out and stored somewhere as a memorable letter would be.
Posted by: sw at September 29, 2004 05:49 PMI know "its out there", I've dealt with that on both ends, but in the same sense, don't get pissy when you're loverboy makes fun of a handful of ethnicities.
Posted by: JRuss at September 29, 2004 06:34 PMrather then leave a couple of us in suspense here, you're Andrea Rouda, Washington D.C. freelance writer, aye? Mother of the the distinguished Wilson Player Zach Rouda? It just bugs me when a person comments without the their real names and doesn't at one point say who they are, you can this in several of the comment trails. It really does affect how I respond to that person. Like that time I was heavily sedated on vicodin and had to respond to a certain US Government teacher on this here forum. Please, introduce yourself, tell us what you like, what you dislike, if you're the Andrea Rouda I've read about, this really interests me now, although your main interest of course would be the sensational West boy.
Posted by: JRuss at September 29, 2004 06:48 PMIt's "out there" BUT readers should understand the nature of the website before they become offended but jokes that make sense within the context of the site. It's an ethnic joke told by a jew to a largely jewish audience that understands he's not actually racist. And it still is true that you're the one who thinks jews actually should look a certain way, and in particular, their noses. Anyway, don't worry about it. I may be an asshole, but I don't hold it against your anonymous identity.
Posted by: DHI at September 29, 2004 08:41 PMOkay, I've been outed so I guess I'm through here. I have been spying for quite awhile, having caught a glimpse over my son's shoulder one night when he let his guard down and forgot to bolt the door. I am writing my second novel and it's about adolescents--or actually, adolescence. This site has offered a real window into your world, one which is naturally closed to me by virtue of my advanced age. The nose-Jew comment annoyed me, and I blew my cover. Anyway, loved the video of the mattress party! I promise I'm leaving and I won't come back. (Be assured that I haven't divulged this blog to any other adults.)Have fun!
Posted by: Titanic at September 29, 2004 10:40 PMdo we get promo copies if you include any of this?
Posted by: sw at September 29, 2004 11:14 PMSo it was Rouda's mom.
And all along I thought it was Swest's college girlfriend.
Only one conclusion: Rouda's mom is still dating college guys, possibly including our webmaster himself.
Posted by: DHI at September 29, 2004 11:28 PMI'm sure many more adults than we acknowledge follow this site, but they are well aware that letting us know of their observation would taint this fragile buttery crossiant of youth, rant, and profanity.
Posted by: JRuss at September 29, 2004 11:44 PMYou've raised a couple interesting points, and cunningly omitted the questions they beget. There is no doubt the volume of information would increase exponentially, and that a great deal can be inferred from even the most banal cyberelectronic shards that our generation leaves in its wake. Which I suppose invalidates my point, though the loss of romanticism that will coincide the rise of the cyberhistorian will be rued by me if rued by no other. So, in conclusion, I guess the joke's on me.
Posted by: Lukas Manneun at September 30, 2004 02:31 AMthe question remains: how many of the other commenters on this illustrious blog are merely fictitious creations meant to mask the identities of curious adults trying to tap into the zeitgeist of our wayward generation? can we trust anyone? can we trust even that the blog itself is not he agent of these adult forces? do we all really want to pour out our hearts and souls on the blog of a porn-industry puppet? only time will tell.
Posted by: farbs at September 30, 2004 12:43 PMWell think about; you're a parent of you've sudden uncovered hole to peep in to this world totally different from the physcial performances they know of this generation. I'm sure that so much of it is familiar, the grand significance of young philosphers of Klaus, the sheer wit of West that gleens with promise of something great, the endlesss cleverness of Discoe, DCo's geek'ness and newfound depression and venereal disease, my totally generic teenage misanthropy (lite) and delusions of everything. Lichman's an alcoholic and his blog definitely documented that disease and any adult would probably have been quick to call him out on that. That could create quite a dilemma. If one of us was truly an alcoholic or actually suicidal or had real plans to kill or counterfeit or rape, the wise but INVISIBLE peepin' Toms are in a position where they're not oblivious to what's happening, but nobody knows they know except for themselves.
So in the end, its best to not worry about alcoholism or suicide and stick to what we all know best, making fun of jews and asians.
I was saw this asian Jew and she wanted to know if dogs were kosher.
Posted by: DHI at September 30, 2004 02:43 PMWell said, although none of this helps me understand my own progeny. And if any of you are feeling suicidal or murderous, don't expect me to intervene--I've got my own problems. (While you're mocking, don't forget the Arabs.)
Posted by: Titanic at September 30, 2004 02:47 PMthere's only one way to properly understand your progeny: slice em open and see what's inside. a real good vivisection will tell you a lot more about a person (especially a progeny) than you might think.
Posted by: farbs at September 30, 2004 04:06 PMEli? I thought you lived at Dizard's blog.
Posted by: DHI at September 30, 2004 05:13 PMNever mind, you have been branching out recently, it's true.
Posted by: DHI at September 30, 2004 05:14 PMI thought you were done lurking, Rouda.
Posted by: JRuss at September 30, 2004 06:07 PMDude I got my computer fixed so now I can listen to Boning in the Dubyard.
Posted by: DHI at October 3, 2004 11:27 PMhttp://riddleworks.com/wwwboard/messages/30232.html complimentwhosewondered
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