You Arrogant Bastard

Its about fucking time...

I forgot to add this story. Its about fucking time. Poor bastard.

Rest in Peace

Rock Over London , Rock On Chicago – Songwriter Wesley Willis Dead at 40

The Voices of Wesley Willis

Rock cult hero Wesley Willis dies

Wesley Willis Dead At 40

Local 'outsider' rocker Wesley Willis dies

So this is a few days old, who cares? Most of these articles are from today. He was a remarkable man.

so much things to say

The temperature is one hundred degrees, the population is roughly three thousand, the number of 7-11s is zero. Yes my friend, you guessed it. I am in Riverton, Wyoming.
Since local library mandates my internet usage not exceed one half-hour, and we are preparing to go to the exciting cultural center of Hudson, Wyoming for large plates covered in beef, I must limit this entry.

In fact, this is the end, but I note this: I have created a journal of my experiences this trip, and I am considering scanning it for download as an extended arrogant entry. I propose this question to you youths: Should I do it?

I leave you with this quote, whose wisdom should carry you through the dark, dark days until I come back to the DC and make everything better:

Here natty dread, have you any herbs? A CONGOMAN! Here natty dread, have you any herbs? Yes, my brother, yes! Two big barrels of FOOOOOOOD. YES! It was the feast... of the PASS-OVER!

See you in four days.

Leave of Absence

Well I'm off to the heartland, despite the fact that my vacation destination is aflame. Oh well, I'll make do, I guess. I'll have to. Wait, what am I whining about? The air out there is clean, man. And I got a nice new cd case so I'm all set. Give me some bass-heavy reggae and I'll keep my mouth shut for two weeks.

Big up to John Jones. I hope I spelled that right, we got a lot of "Jon"s these days.

So keep the fires burning, and the funk alive.
To the college folk, good luck.

"i dont send dead bodies, i send gay porn"

I have to begin with the obligatory apology for writing while "tired."

Secondly, I apologize yet again for another summary. I do my best to keep my opinions to myself and give you something to kill five minutes with, post a mocking comment, fellate yourself, I'm not up to speed with you kids these days.

Thirdly, Saul Cohen, we must put our differences to rest over this blog (though you insist upon calling it a livejournal...). Sure I post some dumb shit, but this blog is a microcosm of life itself. There are vicissitudes. You must bear with me as you wade through the stupid shit, the arrogant babble, the links that no longer work. Exault with the lot of us, the Robert Rouths, the Queerbens, the JRussells and the T-Bags, when things go right. I swear I'll get some interracial gay porn up here if it'll make you happy. But I won't stop doing a jig outside Dominos when I leave my job, and you must not stop paying attention to me as I do it. Derek and the Dominos! In the words of DR. KING,

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

Anyway, now that I've gotten that out of the way... what a weekend, eh? It was the quintessential summertime social event where you run into the old elementary school crew and reacquaint yourselves in the form of talking shit about Steve Case in Jamie's basement. I would try to recreate portions of the conversation, but I was pretty tired, and so was JRuss, and so was The Gentleman formerly known as “Big” Will, and so was E. Goldfarb of all people, and although I think Zuckerman was down there, I was too tired to remember, and he wasn't tired anyway, so he probably stayed upstairs singing "take my breath away." I’m sorry for all of this bullshit, if it sounds weird ….you know. The bottom line is that it was a good old time, and it is another summer moment that cannot be recreated with good results at any other time of the year. That fucker Steve Case ruined AOL/Time Warner. I’m sorry, I should say he ruined Time Warner by playing a major role in the addition of the completely unfitting “AOL/” to the company name. He had the Internet world by the scrotum and he played Egyptian. He built an empire and instead of developing it, he let it stay the same…

Well, board of directors, we’ve got some big changes in store for AOL users this year. You can fucking change the color of the fucking menu! And you can have a cow sound whenever you get an Instant Message! Isn’t that the fucking coolest shit ever? Everybody loves cows, I think. Oh and also, they will still be paying for tons of shit you can get elsewhere on the internet for free! So why would they ever leave us? So easy to use, no wonder it’s number one! I am the fucking savior, feed me some fucking fetuses.

And now the people from the sea are coming and Ted Turner already shat his pants and the whole company, along with its earth-shattering mega-merger, has been cockslapped from a financial point of view, and whoops! The accountants have been lying, too! But no, its ok, we have “The Matrix Reloaded!” Now they have to get up again and fix the card table they broke while falling backwards upon cock impact, and apply concealer to the glans-shaped bruise on their financial cheek so we will all start buying stock again. What the fuck was I talking about again? Oh yeah. Cockslapping. Wait…. oh yeah.

So was it a weekend of overindulgence? We’ll ask the organs.
BRAIN, September thru April: Absolutely.
BRAIN, May thru August: Who cares? You got nothing to do tomorrow.
STOMACH: You got no proof.
LIVER: I’m not sure. Find out in 40 years.
PANCREAS: I don’t care. My task is to secrete helpful enzymes!
COMMON: Can I borrow a dollar?

So as far as stuff you might be actually interested in, check this out. I know I’ve told many of you this before, but people seem skeptical so I wanted to substantiate my assertions. Did you ever wonder why the classic video game Super Mario 2 was so immensely fucked up? Well the answer, friends, is because it was never intended to be a Mario game. Though the title I told you—“Toki Toki Rumble”—was not the actual title, I was pretty close. The original intended title was “Doki Doki Panic.” So put a fucking gun to my head, god, I’m sorry. Click here and you can read the story of why it was converted into a Mario game, its better explained by a bunch of nerds with a website than by a single nerd with a website.

You can also click here and see how things changed between the two games.

Well now you’ve done it. You’ve gone and made me lose my train of thought. It’s late again, I gotta get up soon. I’ll finish whatever loose ends I left… loose… here, tomorrow. Or, fuck you! I’ll do it whenever I get around to it. Steal my breath away!