You Arrogant Bastard

Assessing Scorpion's Financial Future

Self: i trust you know by now
Self: your wilkerson jersey has been rendered factually incorrect and historically outdated
Self: thus you now possess a valuable collectors item
Self: bring it to the next reservation swap meet
Self: and trade it for an antique rifle
Self: use that rifle to murder someone
Self: they won't be able to track the bullet or the gun
Self: as the rifle predates our FUCKING DRACONIAN gun legislation
Self: you will literally get away with murder
Self: and your personal worth will skyrocket as a result
Self: you will be asked to lecture at major universities
Self: you will stay in all the finest hotels
Self: women will suckle at your gonads
Self: for just a chance to speak with the man who got away with murder
Self: and think, scorpion:
Self: think:
Self: it was all because you bought that brad wilkerson jersey
Self: because in your excitement about a team that you had not previously followed, moving to your hometown
Self: you didn't know who was going to be good and who was going to be shitty
Self: and in your naive purchase
Self: you have set yourself for life
ScorpionIzzo: lol
ScorpionIzzo: good point
Self: congratulations my friend
ScorpionIzzo: yup yup
ScorpionIzzo: now whose jersey should i get now
Self: well we already traded castilla right? he sucked too
Self: lets see, who else sucks
ScorpionIzzo: hey wilkie didnt suck
Self: hah i knew you'd say that
ScorpionIzzo: but anyway i think ill wait a little this time to see who doesnt play like shit
Self: yeah
Self: in other news, i pulled my back out vomiting the other night
Self: and its preventing me from getting anything done