July 01, 2003

Depraved and Insulting English

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Being that I'm to soon ship off to Europe, my mother has taken it upon herself to present me with an early birthday present in the form of a book of depraved and insulting english. While hilarious, it is quite extensive, therefore I will reproduce only a few choice favorites from what I have read so far in the space below:

Note: These entries all come from the F section because its the only one I've read so far, and are literal replications of the definitions + examples provided in the text. Let the depraved word fest begin!


Feculent /FEK yoo lent/adj - Covered in feces.
"Trying out his new Rollerblades for the first time, Fullerton brought his mastiff down to the overused dog run in the park after a rainstorm. He was so horridly feculent when he finally made it back home that his doorman wouldn't let him into the building without first hosing him off on the sidewalk."

Feist /FEIST/n - A silent fart.
"The disgusting and flatulent little toad from Word Processing was forever in the habit of letting loose with feists while lunching in the company cafeteria, and would always give himself away by tittering loudly when he did so."

And my personal favorite...

Fico /FIKE o/n - A gesture, thrusting the thumb between the middle and forefinger of a closed fist, that is indicative of deep contempt.
While this word is not terribly insulting in and of itself, it does have a romantic and insulting pedigree.
Let us go back to strife-torn twelfth-century Europe. Our story centers on Frederick Barbarossa, a German prince who captured Milan in the 1160's, but was expelled a short time later. While removing him from their city, the Milanese took occasion to humiliate Barbarossa's wife in a manner unspecified by accounts of the period. He was not a man to look kindly upon such a deed (whatever it was), so when he retook Milan he enacted a strange and horrific revenge.
He began by having every able-bodied man of the city kneel behind the posterior of a defecating mule. As the mule voided what he had to void, the poor man behind it was forced, on pain of death, to take the lump of excrement between his teeth and, turning to his captors, say, "Ecco la fica" ("Behold the fig").
Although the physical gesture in question has been around since time immemorial, only after Freddy Barbarossa did it assume the meaning that it has today. He truly was the father of the fico, and in this respect he was a visionary.

I'm debating whether or not to use this book as a basis of a "word of the day," feature on this blog. Tell me what you think.


Posted by Nostradamus at July 1, 2003 11:31 AM
Comments

eat donkey lead

Posted by: dsf4567 at July 1, 2003 09:39 PM

I believe you are making some sort of barbaric reference to my mention of fico. Please restrain yourself in the future you driveling eproctolagniac. Yeah you read that right; eproctolagniac, someone who is sexually stimulated by flatulence -- his own or someone else's.

Posted by: nostradamus at July 2, 2003 12:01 PM

Your words scare me. ;)

Posted by: Joel at July 3, 2003 04:39 PM
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