January 27, 2004

KERRY CARRIES GRANITE

given the fact that underestimations of current flow capacity can have deleterious effects to the production of potables and undercoilsprings::: my recommendation is then that the top down system (see section 3, have havenot dichotometrics) shall be forthwith abolished and new regime section seven G undertaken in dire haste indeed. Provide strenuous assertions underlying nothing for workplace care matrix.

The WorLD WILL littlLE nOte NOR long RemembER YOU!
a. Lincoln

Posted by wdizard at 09:43 PM | Comments (17)

January 26, 2004

Fly THIS?

The TV watching for tomorrow is to be verboten. Winter Storm Warning through tomorrow. No TV watching mandate throughout tomorrow.
,……………………………………………………………………………………….,
have I just spent 40 minutes reading about modernism===really looking about modernism and modernity, and now find myself listening to an overripe three doors down song you remember from four years ago?
The answer to these questions is: yes.
Man, was that video crap.
What amazes me is that I could be doing a huge number of things right now, but I’m doing this, sitting here and writing this sentence.
Oh fuck, recognizing the impossibility of my singular existence, not that again.
The inexplicable randomness of who I am.
Dog, house, parents, block, city, country, continent, hemisphere, species, genus, order, class, phylum, kingdom, planet, solar system, galaxy, time.
And for all this description---what’s the fucking point? Really, the more we know, the more meaningless everything seems. Jesus, why don’t we just give up science altogether, or philosophy or all the rest of this pointless garbage that overeager bespectacleds occupy their time with, living leech like off the toil of hundreds of millions of ignorant nonpersons. I think we should, give it all up, right now. Just revert back to the norms of human existence: eating, sleeping, shitting, fucking, and fearing the wrath of an nonexistent metaphysic.
Oh, crap, I just rolled over a copy of The New Republic with my swivel chair…

Posted by wdizard at 10:29 AM | Comments (339)

January 18, 2004

No Title

Originally a To Do List

paper.
Due Wednesday.
Two Pages. Quotes. Need to prove something. Use rhetorical language. Use it well.
Birds chirping outside.
Single words.
Images.
Describe a place.
No clauses.
Think of the modern era.
Hemmingway’s laconic style has manifested itself in today with strings of non sentences. No clause using represents the final independence of the Anglophonic world from the yoke of Latin clauses and pithiness.
Moreover clauses necessary were only to break up original Latin texts.
Original Latin texts with no spaces between words.
Why for so long did Western World have Stockholm syndrome for that heartless imperium forged in blood?
Cursing barbarians for their bad manners.
Nonsensical.
What’s more is.
Archeologists still mesmerized by the everyday commonplace of Latin life.
Our finest intellectuals poring
over and studying 2 millenia old artifacts.
Secreted hermit priests in a Cargo Cult.
Like 1930 first contact natives who worship diligent the strangers’ godlike powers.
Soda Can.
Axel.
Hubcap.
Half Dead Skin Cells off massive metal giant. Not on purpose. Certainly not a gift.
But haven’t yet given up the habit whole.
Like clauses. Illusion.
But to be fair.
The orderfromchaosfinding.
A common human activity. Natural. I just can’t help it.
Do excuse me would you?

Posted by wdizard at 12:11 PM | Comments (334)

January 14, 2004

VERMIN SUPREME

voted for the first time tuesday, to the detriment of a J.S. Mill paper I should have been forging, diligent and dutiful, for the good of mankind. But, as they say, nothing beats experience, except for Mike Tyson. He can beat the shit out of experience, no problem.
Anyway, pondering problems regarding a number of issues of varying importance to the COMMON weal, I picked up a copy of the DCVOTERS GUIDE and found a significant amount of useful information regarding the nature of our democracy. Some of the most cogent discoveries were the following:
1. Christian Rock represents the inklings of an incipient Americanfasciststate, being aroused in its reactionary rage by the glory of futurethoughts, mandating fullutilitarianism by means of mind/brain monitoring machines.
2. Is this blog art or actual commentary. Undecided. Hopefully, the decision of aliens who come upon it later in the PROGRESS OF THE UNIVERSE FROM COHERENCE TO ULTIMATE COLD, INDIFFERENT ICEBOX DISSOLUTION
will be the latter.
3. I will vote for al sharpton because i can
4. no longer will i capitalize the letter i
5. This will no longer be done by me to the letter i
6. too late today, I I I am tired.
7. SUPERMANficially, i agree with liberal causes, from a philosophical standpoint almost always, but I am considering not voting for H. Dean because, todoso, would represent an endorsement of a political fad which has been taken up by various retireds and unemployed yuppies, both irresolute with a constant feeling of entitlement, and, jesus christ i'm too lazy to care.
8. too postmodern, indeed.

Posted by wdizard at 11:35 PM | Comments (312)

January 10, 2004

The glory of postmodernism: or you thought you thought?

Linguistics is the closest thing to metaphysics that the natural world provides. The only place where magic and uncertainty still lie. History, it offers only endless argument, whirling down inevitable into an unstable synthesis. Compromise is reality. Reality is compromise. Hegel says so, so say I. Truth is the illusion, language is the only reality.
Be postmodern, don't vote.
Be postmodern, campaign for Bush while high, vote for Dean while drunk.
Be postmodern, don't do your homework and drop out of highschool.
Be postmodern, never read, sit on the couch for days, watching television and weeping because you final understand the truth of your existence.
Be postmodern, run away from home and join a revolutionary movement in El Salvador.
Be postmodern, be born in the mid to late 1980s and then die in the early 2070s, it's easy if you try.

Posted by wdizard at 05:02 PM | Comments (327)

January 04, 2004

past my prime (a conversation with JRuss)

Merced 99 [1:33 PM]: i'm past my prime
PieToaster [1:34 PM]: yeah yeah
Merced 99 [1:34 PM]: i should be allowed to die right now, never having even been able to simulate the act of reproduction
Merced 99 [1:34 PM]: did you know that the male's sexual peak is like 17?
Merced 99 [1:34 PM]: i'm a good 18 and a half
Merced 99 [1:34 PM]: all my youthful energy and vigor are gone
Merced 99 [1:34 PM]: there is no reason to be human any longer
PieToaster [1:34 PM]: fuck that, man
PieToaster [1:35 PM]: that's what they want you to think
PieToaster [1:35 PM]: kill yr youth now
PieToaster [1:35 PM]: get a job and be a slave
PieToaster [1:35 PM]: papercuts and beg to fuck yr own damn wife
Merced 99 [1:36 PM]: I want children to manipulate and mold in my own image but i don't want to bother with the bitch who will produce them
PieToaster [1:37 PM]: see
PieToaster [1:37 PM]: ideally the wife is the fine counterpart who will finance my destruction and carry my child and then give him to me to make him a man
Merced 99 [1:38 PM]: i know what you mean
PieToaster [1:38 PM]: every child must have a manic exodus to new england at a yound age
Merced 99 [1:38 PM]: i need a very rich woman
PieToaster [1:38 PM]: he MUST get his father drunk to appreciate his father and the ability to open bottles
Merced 99 [1:39 PM]: i would like a lobodomy
Merced 99 [1:39 PM]: just to be reduced to really idiotic and base urges
Merced 99 [1:40 PM]: do you ever think about how us intellectuals basically carry on conversations with ourselves?
Merced 99 [1:40 PM]: they never really overlap
Merced 99 [1:40 PM]: it's like we're all just sort of talking to ourselves and other people just sort of stand around us and maybe react or respond
PieToaster [1:41 PM]: isn't that what allows the thought to progress the way they do
Merced 99 [1:41 PM]: there is no real thought
PieToaster [1:41 PM]: if we were having point-counterpoint discussion we'd be locked in
Merced 99 [1:41 PM]: yeah
PieToaster [1:41 PM]: it's like Space mountain
PieToaster [1:41 PM]: you go for a ride you've been on before
Merced 99 [1:46 PM]: life is really rather meaningless
PieToaster [1:46 PM]: that's why pop up ads
PieToaster [1:46 PM]: blink
PieToaster [1:46 PM]: you have to realize
PieToaster [1:46 PM]: that what we consider intellectual now
PieToaster [1:46 PM]: is not unique
PieToaster [1:47 PM]: every depressed, bearded, jaded, thinks his penis is small even though it's just average high school fuck says similar shit
PieToaster [1:47 PM]: but we're better
PieToaster [1:47 PM]: we're from DC
PieToaster [1:47 PM]: we grew up with Negros
Merced 99 [1:47 PM]: damn straight
Merced 99 [1:48 PM]: i grew up partly with negroes, partly with little self righteous, bourgeois pieces of shit
Merced 99 [1:48 PM]: white pieces of shit
Merced 99 [1:48 PM]: do you ever have a massive project you have to do and you say "well, it's two o'clock now, i can take care of it if i work for seven hours straight"
PieToaster [1:48 PM]: yeah
PieToaster [1:49 PM]: same train of thought when I have work the next mornign after getting drunk
Merced 99 [1:49 PM]: but you're not going to work for seven hours straight, you're going to work for maybe three and then get discouraged and watch the simpsons cheerlessly
PieToaster [1:49 PM]: like if i fall asleep now, I can get four hours of sleep before work
PieToaster [1:49 PM]: brotha!
PieToaster [1:49 PM]: i know the sensation
PieToaster [1:49 PM]: it does help to pull of the beef
PieToaster [1:49 PM]: if you know what I mean
Merced 99 [1:49 PM]: it does, actually
PieToaster [1:49 PM]: it's like a methadone
Merced 99 [1:50 PM]: because then you're not thinking of anything besides your own immediate destruction

Posted by wdizard at 04:52 PM | Comments (327)

January 03, 2004

YOU THOUGHT YOU TOOK AN ENGLISH CLASS?

Merced 99 [8:58 PM]: ?
Auto response from angelcarver92 [8:58 PM]: a boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center
Merced 99 [8:58 PM]: all i see is the language illusion equal to: ...is like a...
Merced 99 [8:58 PM]: what does this construction mean?
Merced 99 [8:59 PM]: it means that man is capable of abstract thought

Posted by wdizard at 09:02 PM | Comments (3)

January 01, 2004

the most dangerous words

themostdangerousword in politics is a verb used in the first person plural. "We caught" saddam hussein...no, we didn't. I might havemade this point before. But anyway, "we" didn't catch saddam hussein, soldiers in a highly trained, dangerously overstretched military paid for by the taxes exacted from our parents, grandparents, college funds, etc....those are who captured saddam hussein...I don't know anything about any "we."

The reason linguistics is important: The only thing we can be sure of about "God" is that its a noun and its the object of this sentence.

Posted by wdizard at 02:21 PM | Comments (38)

the enternal WELCOME TO THE @))$!

listen man, i figured it out...alright, here's the thing....so....people talk about "what's happening with the world, what's happening, oh no, the world is going to shit!" and from now on, even though i had engaged in such speeching in the past, I will just smile, nod, and understand the world this way: "The world, our planet, the only I have ever truly experienced, is in a certain point in space right now. That point in space is where the world is. Even though the planet is constantly moving, it is relatively easy, given todays wonderous technology to understand where the planet is in relation to the sun around which it makes its circuit. This physical position corresponds to an abstraction, an abstraction just like the word "bad" or the word "apocalypse." This abstraction is a calendar date. The position the world assumes today, is the same position it assumed exactly one "year" before. This is where the world is. So when you ask me about what I think about where the world is heading I will say, without the illusion of the christian calendar..."Today, friend, the world is in the same position it was 365 days before. 365 days ago, was the world anyworse? To say so would be as to say a single calendar date is intrinsically more evil than any other. So all I have to say to you, my worried friend, is that today is January 1st, as it has been and as it always will be."
LOGIC IS AN ILLUSION CREATED BY THE APPARENT ORDER IN HUMAN THOUGHT. hOWEVER, THIS THOUGHT'S ORDER IS DETERMINED EVEN BY THE WAY WE PERCEIVE REALITY. WERE WE 4 DIMENSIONAL BEINGS WHO SAW ONLY IN THE INFRARED, IT WOULD BE QUITE LOGICAL, THEN, TO SAY "HELLO, TOMORROW IS FINE, THAT'S A FRIGHTENING AMOUNT OF HEAT YOU ARE ADMITTING FROM YOUR EARS TODAY, BUT SLIGHTLY LESS FRIGHTENING TOMORROW!" hA! eLI GOLDFARB IS PROVEN WRONG! FOR EVEN IN WHAT WE ARE MOST SURE OF "SENSORY INFORMATION" THERE IS A LOGIC THAT IS NOT STABLE. LOGIC IS DEPENDENT UPON PERCEPTION."

Posted by wdizard at 02:35 AM | Comments (350)